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Are formal qualifications and experience or personality and personal skills more important when choosing employees?
Topic Rating: 4 Topic Rating: 4 Topic Rating: 4 Topic Rating: 4 Topic Rating: 4 Topic Rating: 4 (1 votes) 
March 22, 2012
9:43 pm
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Are formal qualifications and experience or personality and personal skills more important when choosing employees?


Finding a job nowadays is a challenge because more and more people, especially young graduates, are seeking employment but there are few available jobs. As a result, employers are more demanding when choosing employees. Some people believe that formal qualifications and experience are necessary whereas others value personality and personal skills.

It is often believed that applicants who have an academic degree, language skills and reference letters are more bound to be employed than others who lack formal qualifications because they are considered more competent to cope with the workload. Educated and experienced workers are presumably good at decision making, planning and brainstorming and they can also absorb a great deal of information and be tested on it.

However, others claim that formal qualifications are inadequate and that employers should pay more attention to potential employees’ personal skills. Intelligence, for example, is an inherent skill that is not acquired, like knowledge, and it is a great asset in managerial posts. Moreover, communicative workers are adept at handling customers and manual work requires physical strength. As a result, formal qualifications do not prove capability whereas personal skills do.

From my point of view, employers should consider all of the above. Well qualified and experienced employees seem to have knowledge about the post they are applying for, whereas intelligent and communicative workers are often more capable of climbing the career ladder.

March 24, 2012
11:37 am
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writefix
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Hello Irekou

Thanks for this essay and welcome to Writefix!

(Note: I've edited the essay to remove the italicized phrased in your original post. It seems to have been thoroughly edited already!)

The essay is well written. Why don't you add some comments on some of the other writers' essays here? I am sure they will respond with some comments on your essays!

Thanks again.

March 27, 2012
11:16 am
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Hi Irekou

Thanks for this essay and welcome to Writefix. We hope you can help some other people in this forum to get better IELTS grades and become better writers!

Your essay is 229 words long, which would mean a penalty in IELTS. You have to write 250 words. There is no maximum number of words, but it's good to stop at about 350. Most people who write more make too many mistakes. It would be a shame in your case to lose marks because of being under-length.

Sentence Length

Your average sentence length is 20 words. Adding some shorter sentences would help to reduce this figure. Long sentences are harder to read and more likely to have errors. In your case, there are no errors, but some short sentences would increase the impact of your essay. The ideal is to have a mix of short and long sentences.

Short sentences are often good as topic sentences (the first sentence in a paragraph), or in an introduction.

  • Finding a job has become a real challenge. (8 words)
  • Qualifications, however, are not enough. (5 words)

The ideal candidate will have both personal skills and good qualifications.

Organization

You have two ideas in Paragraph 2 and two in Paragraph 3. Possibly there are more, but the sentences are very dense. It might be better to separate some of these skills rather than to try to compress them into single sentences.

I recommend having three ideas in each paragraph. That would definitely help you to reach the goal of 250 words.

Grammar

The grammar is excellent.

Overall, the essay is well written but with many long sentences. Aim for 250 words, have three ideas in each paragraph, and add some short sentences for their communicative effect.

March 27, 2012
3:27 pm
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Hello!

Thanks for your comments! I will surely take them into account!

I would appreciate if you also comment on my other essay about television!

I'll read other essays and give my opinion asap!

Thanks again!

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