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Can international courts and laws really work?
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April 24, 2012
5:26 pm
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Crime is nearly always related to the environment in which it occurs. For this reason, international laws and international law courts are unrealistic and will not succeed in reducing crime levels in different countries.


Many powerful leaders from countries have pacifically gathered and discussed, producing common laws for the purpose of creating the world with much less criminals. Some people believe in a better picture as the result of this policy while others claim that it will hardly succeed in the future due to the environmental factor. I personally think that international laws,despite some difficuties seen in the implementation process, still reach significant targets.

There are pessimistics who say that it is barriers like different views of crime of different countries as well as the distinction in relegious belief that affect the practicalbility of international laws. To start with, if international laws are implemented, hardly do they cometrue because one crime in this country can be seen serious but less in others. More over, people of varied religions hold ways of thinking about seriousness of crime. For example, according to the dogma of islamism, adulterty and robberies are tatamount to killing someone, and hence criminals may suffer life punishment for that while church believes rest on the idea of the examption of sin to provide them the chance to be self-aware and correct their behavior.

However, proponents of common laws agure that not only do they enhence people’s awareness of crime but they also partially help to solve gobal issues. Firstly, knowing that in any crime committed, they will be undergoing a strict punishment regardless of where thay are, criminals will be warned and reduce there seriousness in their action. Secondly, when it comes to environment, in case of not agreeing upon a common treaty, the world would be put in danger. Different nations will discharge numerous amount of pollution without being criticized, in hope of quickening their economic development, and as a result, more natural disasters and more lives are claimed. Tsunami, ozone depletion and other current hazards are telling examples of lacking global effort in setting a consensus in the amount of waste allowed to be emitted among nations.

All things considered, though obstackles of common laws are available, many benefits from this policy are undeniable, say, higher awareness of people and fewer serious global issues.

April 24, 2012
9:57 pm
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Welcome back emkoxinh!

1) Again, some of your misspelling words are:

"pessimistics" is "persimists"

"enhence" is "enhance"

"obstackles" is "obstacles"

"thay" is "they"

"more over" is "moreover"

"gobal" is "global"

"relegious" to "religious" 

2) I'll try to simplify some of your sentences to make it clearer:

"There are pessimistics who say that it is barriers like different views of crime of different countries as well as the distinction in relegious belief that affect the practicalbility of international laws. To start with, if international laws are implemented, hardly do they cometrue because one crime in this country can be seen serious but less in others. More over, people of varied religions hold ways of thinking about seriousness of crime. For example, according to the dogma of islamism, adulterty and robberies are tatamount to killing someone, and hence criminals may suffer life punishment for that while church believes rest on the idea of the examption of sin to provide them the chance to be self-aware and correct their behavior."

Opponents of international laws may argue that the difference in cultures and religions may influence its applicability. This means different punishments can be applied on the same level of crimes in different countries based on their own religions. For example, Islamist believe that rapists and robbers should receive life imprisonment or capital punishment, while Christians give these people a chance to correct their behaviors.

"However, proponents of common laws agure that not only do they enhence people’s awareness of crime but they also partially help to solve gobal issues. Firstly, knowing that in any crime committed, they will be undergoing a strict punishment regardless of where thay are, criminals will be warned and reduce there seriousness in their action. Secondly, when it comes to environment, in case of not agreeing upon a common treaty, the world would be put in danger. Different nations will discharge numerous amount of pollution without being criticized, in hope of quickening their economic development, and as a result, more natural disasters and more lives are claimed. Tsunami, ozone depletion and other current hazards are telling examples of lacking global effort in setting a consensus in the amount of waste allowed to be emitted among nations."

However, it seems that global laws can not only increase people's awareness of crime but also contribute to solve global issues. Firstly, international laws can easily be spread to the global population since they are consistent in every countries. As a result, potential criminals may stop committing crime if they know about the punishments in advance. Furthermore, environmental issues in many countries can also be reduced as a result of enforcing international laws. The greenhouse effect, ozone depletion and global warming are the consequences of lacking global effort in setting regulations to limit the amount of toxic substances to the environment.

I think some of your ideas are good. But you should simplify your sentence to reduce the mistakes and improve the readability (don't try to use difficult words) . In terms of spelling, you should use the grammar tools in Mr word to check for any misspelled words. All the best. 

April 24, 2012
10:40 pm
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@ tommy bui: thanks again. i find my self quiet depressed. :((

April 25, 2012
8:20 am
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Hi emkoxinh and Tommy!

Don't be depressed! Everytime someone finds a mistake, your writing is getting better and better!

I know it's tough when someone criticizes your beautiful creation that you spent so much time and effort on, but we are all aiming for the same goal - a higher mark and a more elegant piece of writing!

It's a kind of communication. Just because it's clear to us does not mean it's clear to all readers. The goal is to produce something that the great majority of readers will accept as clear, simple and well-argued. So keep trying, reduce those long sentences, and put some more essays here!

Above all emkoxinh, try try try  - and again try to write shorter sentences. Check your writing with these tools

...and make sure your average sentence length (average number of words per sentence) is less than 15. NOT 27, as it is at the moment.

Tommy has done a very good job at identifying some of the longer sentences that need work. I agree 100% with him when he says

you should simplify your sentence to reduce the mistakes and improve the readability (don't try to use difficult words)

...with help like that your essay and all your writing will soon become much stronger!

I'm a little busy today, but I hope tomorrow I can get back to your essay and have a close look at it!  Maybe you can try to add a revised version with just 300 - 320 words and short sentences! Boil it down and aim to have 20 sentences with 12-15 words each average. 

But don't be depressed! Be proud of what you can do!

April 25, 2012
5:29 pm
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Hi again, emokoxinh.

Tommy did a really good job of shortening two paragraphs. I will try with the introduction.

You wrote:

Many powerful leaders from countries have pacifically gathered and discussed, producing common laws for the purpose of creating the world with much less criminals. Some people believe in a better picture as the result of this policy while others claim that it will hardly succeed in the future due to the environmental factor. I personally think that international laws,despite some difficuties seen in the implementation process, still reach significant targets.  (3 sentences, 74 words, 23.7 average per sentence)

Here's a possible rewrite.

Many countries have discussed international laws and courts to tackle crime. Some people believe this will ensure that criminals or governments will face punishment wherever they are. Others claim that such courts cannot succeed due to differences in economic development, culture, religion, laws and policing. However, I personally think that despite difficuties in implementation, international laws and courts can still help victims find justice. (4 sentences, 64 words, 15.7 average per sentence)

It's not much shorter than yours, at 64 words compared to 74, but there are some examples of what you mean by 'environmental factor' and many vague words have been removed or replaced with more meaningful ones. A very long sentence has been split into two. 

Try not to have any sentence longer than 25 words, and try for an average of 12-15 words. This means having some very short sentences. Don't make all your sentences short however: Aim for a mix of short and long, simple, and compound, and complex, with different structures. 

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