Welcome!

In the forum on this page you can see IELTS essays by people just like you. Hundreds of people added essays and comments and helped each other to get a great IELTS essay score! Have a look at their amazing writing!

Please note: This forum is closed!

closed

Sorry! However, please enjoy the hundreds of essays and thousands of comments still available here. A HUGE thanks to all the writers who commented and to all the visitors. We hope we've made IELTS writing less scary.

Popular Tags

Click the links below to see essays on that topic.

art business communication children crime culture economy education environment families food freedom globalization
health heritage  leisure media politics science society sports television travel technology transport university violence work

Avatar

Lost password?
Advanced Search

— Forum Scope —




— Match —





— Forum Options —





Minimum search word length is 3 characters - maximum search word length is 84 characters

sp_Feed Topic RSS sp_Related Related Topics sp_TopicIcon
Can dieting change your life or ruin your health?
Topic Rating: 0 Topic Rating: 0 Topic Rating: 0 Topic Rating: 0 Topic Rating: 0 Topic Rating: 0 (0 votes) 
July 17, 2012
4:27 am
Avatar
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 1
Member Since:
July 17, 2012
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Dieting is a most discussed topic worldwide now days. It can be either beneficial or destructive for an individual’s life based on one’s understanding the concept of dieting. This essay will outline the both situations which a society faces.

Selective eating is a very good behaviour, as it helps the body to maintain a good balance between all nutrients. A balanced diet is associated with several awesome health benefits. It does not only help to keep body healthy but also promotes mental alertness and well being. Now days, health professionals are emphasizing on dieting to prevent many complex diseases. A healthier eating also helps one to feel good, look smart and boosts self esteem.

Conversely, in our society, dieting is only considered as eating less. According to modern nutritionists, this is a very negative approach towards moderate eating. In this way, people are becoming weak and victims of various health issues as dieting, for them, means selective and insufficient eating. It often results in poor performance at work, lack of concentration in studies and anxiety. Hence, a vicious circle starts influencing an individual’s all aspects of life making him a vulnerable member of society.

In conclusion, dieting could have wonderful effects if sensibly done according to recommended guidelines. Otherwise, it could be detrimentalimpact on one’s health. Thus, one should enjoy her life through careful selection of diet and should seek proper medical advice from a qualified professional.

July 25, 2012
6:15 pm
Avatar
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 8
Member Since:
July 19, 2012
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Dear Kiran 2012,

I'd realy liked what you've written. Of course, You are better than me, but I have one or two comments I would like to show them:

 

1- You've written 235 words which are below the 250 words.

2- I think there is a typing mistake. Nowdays  shoud be written Nowadays.

3- In the conclusion, [one should enjoy her life]. I think it is a typing mistake too.

4- Correct to me if am wrong,in paragraph 2 of your essay, it is better to write Vicious feeling rather than vicious circle.

5- You should either write in plural figure, [Thus, we should enjoy our life], or write [Thus, one should enjoy his/her life through careful selection of diet].

 

However, I read your essay and I enjoyed reading it. It adds some vocabularies to my store.

All the best.

 

 

August 3, 2012
8:13 pm
Avatar
writefix
Guest
Guests

Hi Kiran2012, and I hope you are still visiting the Writefix forum from time to time.

Thanks to Blue Sky for his comments. I hadn't noticed the word count. It's a real shame when writers who can write as well as this lose marks just because they are under the 250 requirement. Plus it puts the examiner in a bad mood because they have to count the words laboriously by hand!

Everybody should practice with the sample IELTS Writing Task 2 Answer sheet here so that you know the length depending on your handwriting. 290 words for most people is a page and a half, but everyone's writing is different. 

'Vicious circle' (paragraph 3) is correct, and very nice. It's certainly a 'less common lexical' item, and it's used correctly with an awareness of style.

Awareness of style is also the reason Kiran2012 uses 'her' life in the conclusion. Women are entitled to use 'her' or 'hers' where most male writers would use 'his' or 'he.'  

Have a look at the official descriptors for IELTS Task 2 Writing (public version) here, under Lexical Resource.

one.jpg

However, Blue Sky is right that it's generally better to avoid using 'one' at all. It's just old, hard work, and too formal. Let the Queen use it, and let's not be afraid to say "I" or "we" or "you."  

Task 2 is an opinion essay and you are allowed to give your opinion - not "one's" opinion.

Overall, I really like Kiran2012's essay, except for the thesis sentence. There are some problems with prepositions and conjunctions, and with word choice, but the ideas and the flow are very good. There's a clear topic in each paragraph.

Thanks Kiran2012 and thanks Blue Sky for the valuable comments.

sp_PlupAttachments Attachments
Forum Timezone: Asia/Dubai

Most Users Ever Online: 299

Currently Online:
14 Guest(s)

Currently Browsing this Page:
1 Guest(s)

Member Stats:

Guest Posters: 1

Members: 172

Moderators: 1

Admins: 2

Forum Stats:

Groups: 1

Forums: 3

Topics: 545

Posts: 2204

Moderators: Newestadmin: 0

Do NOT follow this link or you will be banned from the site!