Hi, welcome to writefix. Please paste the intro of the question here.
Technology is a gift for human beings. Technology exciting is popular for from thousands of years. There is an explosive revolution in technology in last 50 years. Technology plays a wonderful role in people’s daily life. It is impossible to imagine the life without technology nowadays. In this essay, I will discuss how modern life changed human life.
The sentence seems creepy short. It doesn't work out in writing. You can just combine some sentences as a whole sentence. Just add and, or, but. The thesis sentence is not so good, it's the overdue structure in writing.
There are several points which are going to show the advantages of modern technology. Firstly, technology helps to save time, money and material. At present time, all the factories, houses and other businesses (what's the relation between houses, plants and business) are equipped (the verb is incorrect, house cannot be equipped) with high tech machines, and electronic gadgets. These products are able to finish the complex task in few seconds. Furthermore, information technology makes the life simple or convenient. Person (people, just one person benefit from it?) can get information about anything at anytime in few seconds with the help of internet. Globalisation of the whole world (repeated) is occurring due to modern technology.(the development of modern tech) It is very easy to travel to any part of the world and even in space because of high technology.
You used tons of overdue and meaningless pharses here. Cut it off. The sentences seem too easy and simple.
On the other hand, old simple technology was better good for people. In the previous times, people were more interested to in learning the things by their own. In old times (You said it before) people used to have more leisure time than today. Life was safe according to social and environment aspects.
To put it in nut shell(kind of oral english), Mmodern technology makes our lives more convenient although it has some advantages and disadvantages on human life.(What's the merits, you should write it down, vice versa)
Generally, this essay need to improve.
1.Some common grammar mistakes, it will ruin your whole essay.
2. Tons of meaningless pharses. The examiner will be depressed to read this and will cut it down.
3. The number of your essay is not enough. Only 232 words here.
4. The sentences is way too short.
5. The luxical is restricted. You use many words since we learnt in secondary school.