Hello Arryarsh and welcome to Writefix.
Your essay is 229 words long (see http://www.Online-Utility.org) which would mean that you would lose marks in IELTS (250 words are required). Whatever you do, however difficult the topic - write 250 words for Task 2 and 150 in Task 1.
The most noticeable feature of your essay is that there are very few articles. It is almost telegraphic. You need to add "the," "a," "an," plurals, or a subject throughout the essay. Here are just a few examples…
Employment or a good job is very indispensable for leading life.One reason which motivates employees for giving their best to their present job is job satisfaction.However, if the person is not satisfied , he or she will not be able to give a hundred percent for the productivity of the company.
It is seen that the type of work given by the company plays an important role in satisfaction of job job satisfaction
These things also increases the efficiency of the workers.
On the other hand,the candidate employee will feel relaxed, stress-free and happy.
A Desirable salary package (to for the candidate) is also a factor which helps in maintaining job satisfaction.
Rewrite the essay with articles and subjects so that it reads more gently. Without those articles, it feels imperious and argumentative, like being barked at by a sergeant on a parade ground.
Organization Markers ('First,' 'second,' 'moreover,' etc):
Be careful with these. Don't add them just because some textbook or teacher said you should. In some cases they are confusing
Secondly,employees give priority to working conditions and behavior of boss.Moreover,facilities provided by company is returned by worker in form of good work.
Does this sentence give more information about the sentence before it? I don't like the use of 'moreover' here.
On the other hand,candidate feel relaxed stress free and do work happily. Next,employees always expect some rewards such as appreciation mails,bonus,and trophies.It helps in increasing their motivation and determination towards work.Of course,person most people works for salary because he has to complete his family needs.
A lot of your sentences are starting with a short phrase like "Second," "Moreover," "Next," "Of course" (next is good for a description of a process, but not appropriate here). Try to reduce the number of sentences like this. The information in the sentence should make some of these markers unnecessary. Let your sentences flow without these interruptions.
You don't have too many, so that's good, but I would remove even the ones you have….
It is seen that type of work given by company plays important role in satisfaction of job.
This could be changed to:
The type of work provided by the company also plays an important role in job satisfaction.
In the a nutshell,worker feel satisfied if all these requirements are fulfilled by company.
This could be changed to:
In conclusion, workers will feel satisfied if all these requirements are fulfilled by their company.
Of course, setting aside grammar and usage for a moment, the employees are also free to go and find another job: is it really the company's responsibility to meet the worker's 'requirements'??!