It is undeniable fact that most of the university students involve in their study without taking part in any physical and social activities. But others argue that they should actively engage in other fields as well. I completely agree that indulging in tasks unrelated to the study may play a significant role in building up who they are and how they represent in the society.
Firstly, social activities like attending functions, festivals, and doing household chores like cooking, cleaning and gardening are some tasks which should be carried out other than studies. These works help them to learn the basic necessities that have helped in continuing our life. In this way, they got an opportunity to know why and how celebrations are made, how we become socialised, how meals are prepared and simply how homes are organised. As a result, they learn to explore their real identities and existence in society which maintains their social image and strengthens their relation with their relatives and family members.
Secondly, they should also participate actively in extra curricular activities in school like sports and music. The reason behind why sports are beneficial to students is that such sporting activities involve a lot of hard work making them physically healthier. Similarly, playing music can become a way of letting out all the stresses that they are carrying during studies so that they can focus completely in their studies again. At the same time, participation in sports and music may become an external factor for the development of their personality.
In conclusion, it is highly essential for the university student to engage actively in social and entertaining activities. This ultimately builds up their perspective towards society and entertainment so that in future they can perform their societal roles smoothly and emerge with multiple personality in their career.
Sorry I'm quite busy this time so I just give you some short comments in terms of ideas.
I think your essay is quite clear and easy to understand. However after reading it, I just want to mention a few points:
+ In the introduction you wrote: " It is undeniable fact that most of the university students involve in their study without taking part in any physical and social activities" . I think it is not totally true, many students nowadays do not spend enough time on them but they still participate in some activities.
+ Maybe you should mention about the disadvantages of not participate in social activities in your third paragraph.