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History is the most important subject for a child to study at school.
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March 11, 2012
8:04 pm
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History is the most important subject for a child to study at school. Do you agree or disagree?


Many children in this world don't know enough information about their countries history or some the most important events which have obvious effects in them life. Many people believe that history subject is very important to teach for children. In another hand, others think, the history  is not necessary to be one from curriculums  at children school. This essay will consider the advantages and disadvantages from study history subject in children school.

In the beginning, history has more benefits that make children more aware of what is happening in the world. First, it aids children to be know what occurred before they birth and help them to avoid the mistakes that caused some bad things such as the wars. For example, the world war have happened because of some presidents who have racism for others. Like this information about the wars may be learn children how the racism is so dangerous and make him know how they should be more respect for all people. In addition, it will challenge children to try to mimic figures who invented things that help humans to be their life more easy. For instance, Thomas Edison consider one of the most characters that changed the world by invention the Electricity. 

However, there are many disadvantages of study history in elementary school. first point, it wastes children's time in things happened in the past. To illustrate, what will children take advantage from study about people who was living in china five hundred ago. Secondly, it will cause some racism between children if they heard about racism stories which happened between some people at various places in the world. Specifically, the racism that happened between white people and black people in theUSAsince sixty years ago and many people killed and injured because of that. 

Briefly, there are good reasons both for and against history is the most important subject for a child to study at school. however, in my opinion, I think the past in its good and bad memories is the motivation to Development and innovation so the children need to learn more about the past.

March 13, 2012
10:54 pm
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Hello Malak o8 and thanks for this essay

Your essay is 350 words long, which is getting dangerously long. You are only required to write 250 words, and you only have 40 minutes. Your sentences are too long - over 20 words on average. Please try to get this down to about 12 words per sentence. One or two long sentences (e.g. 20-24 words) is fine in the essay, but you need a lot of shorter ones. 

Use the links at the top of the pages to check any future essays for average sentence length (number of words per sentence).

Unnecessary words

Your essay would benefit from tight editing. Many of your sentences sound as if you are speaking, but speaking is not the same as writing. If you are giving a presentation on this topic, the essay would sound good, but that's not the same as IELTS Task 2 writing. You have to remove unnecessary words, have only one idea per sentence, remove extra clauses and information.

What can we remove from this 28-word sentence?

First, it aids children to be know what occurred before they birth and help them to avoid the mistakes that caused some bad things such as the wars.

First, history helps children to learn about and avoid the mistakes of the past.

Here's another 29-word monster:

Like this information about the wars may be learn children how the racism is so dangerous and make him know how they should be more respect for all people.

Children can hear about the dangers of racism, and learn to respect others.

Thirteen words. (Note: 'Like' is for speaking only). Try to write shorter sentences and remove unneeded words.

Develop your ideas fully

first point, it wastes children's time in things happened in the past. To illustrate, what will children take advantage from study about people who was living in china five hundred ago.

I'm sure Chinese people reading this essay will want to know about their past. Avoid generalizations - see the official criteria for IELTS Task 2 Writing

Five hundred what? Did you mean years? The IELTS exam is not the time to be careless. You've worked hard for it and perhaps paid a lot of money for it. 

First, some history topics may not seem relevant to students. Long, boring lists of names and dates may not seem useful or interesting for students living thousands of miles away

Don't use memorized phrases

This essay will consider the advantages and disadvantages from study history subject in children school.

Briefly, there are good reasons both for and against history is the most important subject for a child to study at school.

Use your own words. Show the examiner your vocabulary

This essay will look at some advantages of studying history, as well as some problems.  

Briefly, history can help motivate people and help them understand each other. However, it can also bring back old problems and disputes. 

The main thing Malak is to remember that writing is NOT the same as speaking. You have to be more careful, think about every sentence, and remove unnecessary words.

March 21, 2012
1:54 am
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Thank you so much for help me to improve my writing skill

I don't know what I should say for you but I love writefix.com so much.


writefix said


Hello Malak o8 and thanks for this essay

Your essay is 350 words long, which is getting dangerously long. You are only required to write 250 words, and you only have 40 minutes. Your sentences are too long - over 20 words on average. Please try to get this down to about 12 words per sentence. One or two long sentences (e.g. 20-24 words) is fine in the essay, but you need a lot of shorter ones. 

Use the links at the top of the pages to check any future essays for average sentence length (number of words per sentence).

Unnecessary words

Your essay would benefit from tight editing. Many of your sentences sound as if you are speaking, but speaking is not the same as writing. If you are giving a presentation on this topic, the essay would sound good, but that's not the same as IELTS Task 2 writing. You have to remove unnecessary words, have only one idea per sentence, remove extra clauses and information.

What can we remove from this 28-word sentence?

First, it aids children to be know what occurred before they birth and help them to avoid the mistakes that caused some bad things such as the wars.

First, history helps children to learn about and avoid the mistakes of the past.

Here's another 29-word monster:

Like this information about the wars may be learn children how the racism is so dangerous and make him know how they should be more respect for all people.

Children can hear about the dangers of racism, and learn to respect others.

Thirteen words. (Note: 'Like' is for speaking only). Try to write shorter sentences and remove unneeded words.

Develop your ideas fully

first point, it wastes children's time in things happened in the past. To illustrate, what will children take advantage from study about people who was living in china five hundred ago.

I'm sure Chinese people reading this essay will want to know about their past. Avoid generalizations - see the official criteria for IELTS Task 2 Writing

Five hundred what? Did you mean years? The IELTS exam is not the time to be careless. You've worked hard for it and perhaps paid a lot of money for it. 

First, some history topics may not seem relevant to students. Long, boring lists of names and dates may not seem useful or interesting for students living thousands of miles away

Don't use memorized phrases

This essay will consider the advantages and disadvantages from study history subject in children school.

Briefly, there are good reasons both for and against history is the most important subject for a child to study at school.

Use your own words. Show the examiner your vocabulary

This essay will look at some advantages of studying history, as well as some problems.  

Briefly, history can help motivate people and help them understand each other. However, it can also bring back old problems and disputes. 

The main thing Malak is to remember that writing is NOT the same as speaking. You have to be more careful, think about every sentence, and remove unnecessary words.

March 21, 2012
10:45 pm
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writefix
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Hi Malak

You're welcome!

March 22, 2012
11:38 pm
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writefix
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Can anyone write a stronger sentence than the one Malak used in her conclusion?

Briefly, there are good reasons both for and against history is the most important subject for a child to study at school

Ideally, a conclusion should

  1. summarize,
  2. give or restate your opinon, and
  3. look to the future

It should not have new ideas.

Anyone?  Just a sentence or two!!

March 23, 2012
2:52 pm
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To summarize, while some people may believe that there is no advantage in learning people's past for a child, I think studying history may help children to know about same events happened frequently. This may lead to make less mistakes in the future.

March 23, 2012
7:33 pm
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Hi Brian

You wrote

To summarize, while some people may believe that there is no advantage in learning people's past for a child, I think studying history may help children to know about same events happened frequently. This may lead to make less mistakes in the future.

Yes, much better. You summarize both sides, you give your opinion and you look to the future. Nice conclusion. Just one or two tiny edits:

To summarize, while some people may believe that there is no advantage for children in learning about our past, I think studying history may help them to know about patterns of history. This may lead to fewer mistakes in the future.

Anyone else want to try just the conclusion for "Why teach history?" 

March 24, 2012
8:18 pm
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Brian_mcclaine said

To summarize, while some people may believe that there is no advantage in learning people's past for a child, I think studying history may help children to know about same events happened frequently. This may lead to make less mistakes in the future.

writefix said

Hi Brian

You wrote

To summarize, while some people may believe that there is no advantage in learning people's past for a child, I think studying history may help children to know about same events happened frequently. This may lead to make less mistakes in the future.

Yes, much better. You summarize both sides, you give your opinion and you look to the future. Nice conclusion. Just one or two tiny edits:

To summarize, while some people may believe that there is no advantage for children in learning about our past, I think studying history may help them to know about patterns of history. This may lead to fewer mistakes in the future.

Anyone else want to try just the conclusion for "Why teach history?" 

To conclude, although some people feel that  learning history of the past has no value,I strongly recommend that history be taught in school as it tells the story of the greatness of the country and countrymen.

Radha Muralidhar

March 24, 2012
8:22 pm
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To conclude, although some people feel that  learning history of the past has no value,I strongly recommend that history be taught in school as it tells the story of the greatness of the country and countrymen.

Radha Muralidhar

March 27, 2012
11:13 am
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Hello Radha

Good conclusion! You wrote

To conclude, although some people feel that  learning history of the past has no value,I strongly recommend that history be taught in school as it tells the story of the greatness of the country and countrymen.

  • it summarizes two sides
  • it gives your opinion

Other things an introduction can do islook to the future i.e. suggest what might happen if a course of action is followed or is not followed or if a trend continues

Thanks Radha

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