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Does economic progress and development mean damage to the environment?
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April 9, 2012
11:18 pm
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Te natural environment is often damaged as part of economic development. However, with increased environmental people are investing more money to compensate for this damage. How can the balance between development and environmental protection be maintained?

Environmental problems are always a controversial debate for the human race, because the government and scientists are trying so hard to make life better then explore the natural resources and fulfill their policies which cause an amount of unpredicted feedback to people. In this essay, I will look up some negative effects from environment and give some ideas to protect our Earth. 

It is undeniable the government explore the natural resources which better our life satisfaction and accelerate the pace of life. This is sharply destroying our world. Take the government policy for example. Scientists exploit the outer spaces and expand the world’s demand. It boosts the speed of the global warming and also exhausts the world’s energy. Technically, these adverse effects are considerably threatening our life.

However, addressing the problems which have existed is not difficult for the government and people. In my opinion, to do this, allocating resources is the first priority. For instance, strategies should promote to be a sustainable development which preserve energy and raise citizen’s awareness of ecological balance. In fact, it is the most important that the government heighten citizen’s awareness of recycling so that environment would be safeguarded in a stable condition. In addition, the scientists should treasure the value of natural resources instead of wasting them.

To conclude, although environment has been destroying, we still have a variety of solutions and policy that compensate shortages. Consequently, because of this, the government can figure what they should improve in the future.        

 

I really need someone to help me correct or give some ideas plz!!!! 

April 10, 2012
10:51 am
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Hi Nick see you again,

this environment topic is so popular...so I have wrote a essay and post at here,hope u dont mind.becase I believe Mr writefix or other nice people will help us.and when you taking the IELTS? I am taking IELTS in Saturday 14/4/2012.hope you get a good result in your IELTS.Best regards!

 

Hi Mr Writerfix,

Can I ask you a question? I see many people writing their essay in using difficult vocabulary and I dont not good in Vocabulary ,will I lose many marks?Thanks a lot!

 

Here is my essay:

 

Humans used to destroy the nature to make a better life. However, since the environmental issues are at the forefront of our concern, people start to invest more money to compensate for what they have done. Provide your solution to keep the balance between development and environmental protection

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      

Modern technology brings us great convenience and efficiency. Most people satisfy with their luxury life. People become more materialistic, we enjoy using a big house, a huge car and brand products. However, people just realize that our environmental pollution has become a bigger problem. In this essay, I will discuss how pollution is damaging the environment and suggest some possible solutions.

 Humans used many ways to destroy the nature. First of all, people develop land resources to cope the surging populations. Therefore, animals habitat has been damaging by the extend land program. Some animals and plants even become extinct. In addition, modern factories discharge toxic waste and gas into the environment. Furthermore, cars also discharge CO2. Most people do not like to take public transports so it make the road crowed and cause global warming.

 Todays, many people start to protect our environment and invest much money to compensate what they have done. The first action we need to do is recycle. Recycle can save the planet effectively because it can slow exploiting to national resources. Moreover, car-pooling is a way to solve the problem. It can help alleviate the traffic congestion and reduce CO2.The important point is government should allocate money to develop the public transport. Government also can tightly control the technology developing and formulate some policies to prevent the problem become bigger.

 In conclusion, everyone has a responsibility to save our planet. Our choices, however small, do have a real impact. Therefore, we should co-operation to the government and expecting a good result.   

  

Thanks a lot...

April 10, 2012
9:16 pm
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Hi Jlim and Nick,

May I comment on your essay ? In terms of idea.

I trhink you had missed the point of the essay task. Look at the task word carefully !

" Provide your solution to ..."

 In your 2 body paragraphs, the 2nd paragraph you gave solutions to the problem. That's right. But the 1st,  you mentioned how people damaged the environment to achieve development. I think is not on track. You are not supposed to focus on causes of the problem. But solution is your essay's target.

I think your 2 body paragraphs should be solution one and two. (Two paragraphs = two solutions )

 

What do you think ?

April 10, 2012
10:07 pm
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Hi youtthasack,

Thanks a lot for your comment! Because I dont have too many ideas in solutions so 250words is hard for me , how do you think of write the causes of the problems first and immediately write the solution in the second sentence.

For example:Animals habitat has been damaging by the extend land program. Some animals and plants even become extinct.Therefore, government can establish nature reserves to protect the endangered species.

Can I write like this in both paragraph?

This is my honor if you can help to mark the essay!about the grammar mistakes!

 

thank again for your great comment!

Best regards

April 10, 2012
10:31 pm
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Hi Jlim (and Nick and Youtthasack)

I just want to respond quickly to jLim's question. Yes, you are right. That's one way to write a problem solution essay. 

OK, most problem/solution essays will have an intro, a paragraph with the problems, a paragraph with the solutions, and a conclusion. That's what Nick did in the first essay in this post, and it's absolutely fine. You can see two other essays with this format here and here (both on why people drop out of school early).

Another way is to write an intro, then problem and its solution, a second problem and its solution, and a third problem and its solution, followed by a conclusion.  This will result in a 35553 essay (3-sentence intro, 5 sentences in each of the body paragraphs, and a 3-sentence conclusion).

But be careful jLim not to have too many ideas and too many solutions. Three is enough. Find three aspect of the problem, and suggest three solutions. You will have to write five sentences approximately on each idea.

Here's an example from Nick's topic. It's one ONE body paragraph -  you would need two more.

Another problem caused by rapid development is loss of land. As cities grow, they swallow up huge areas around them. These areas are often fertile areas which were previously used for agriculture. This places pressure on the people who lived there previously -  their lives are changed forever, and the food which they used to grow is no longer available. This problem is difficult to solve, but governments need to control the rate of expansion of cities. One answer is to build more high-rise apartments. Another is to develop new towns and cities in areas which are less suitable for agriculture. 

100 words, seven sentences (oops!) and 14 words per sentence average. It's a bit long but you get the idea: a problem with some more information, followed by one or two solutions.

You need two more paragraphs like this (though shorter, please!) and an intro and conclusion.

So basically, yes, jLim is correct. But don't just write one sentence problem, one sentence solution. Develop your ideas.

April 11, 2012
7:07 pm
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Hi, Jlim

My pleasure to help you.

Unfortanately, my grammar is so poor that I can't help you.

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