Welcome!

In the forum on this page you can see IELTS essays by people just like you. Hundreds of people added essays and comments and helped each other to get a great IELTS essay score! Have a look at their amazing writing!

Please note: This forum is closed!

closed

Sorry! However, please enjoy the hundreds of essays and thousands of comments still available here. A HUGE thanks to all the writers who commented and to all the visitors. We hope we've made IELTS writing less scary.

Popular Tags

Click the links below to see essays on that topic.

art business communication children crime culture economy education environment families food freedom globalization
health heritage  leisure media politics science society sports television travel technology transport university violence work

Avatar

Lost password?
Advanced Search

— Forum Scope —




— Match —





— Forum Options —





Minimum search word length is 3 characters - maximum search word length is 84 characters

sp_Feed Topic RSS sp_Related Related Topics sp_TopicIcon
Do ads for products promote quality or make us buy in quantity?
Topic Rating: 0 Topic Rating: 0 Topic Rating: 0 Topic Rating: 0 Topic Rating: 0 Topic Rating: 0 (0 votes) 
July 11, 2012
9:34 pm
Avatar
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 3
Member Since:
July 11, 2012
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Advertising encourages people to buy in quantity rather than promoting its quality. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

 

here is my argument.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

At time of writing, there is a notion stating that advertisements wish customers to purchase more and deliberately water down the importance of products’ and services’ qualities. I personally believe that it is partly true as it depends on the strategies that companies are using.

It should be noticed that quality is the life for some industry, ad hoc watch manufactory. Through their advertisements, people can find that punctuation and durability is always two main measurements for valuing their products. In light of this, watch manufactories have endeavoured in creating an image of top notch quality via advertising during centuries.  In this way, advertising does promote products’ quality.

On the flip side, not all industries use same marketing strategy as their watch-making counterparts. It is precisely because good quality does not always reflect to high sales, as customers impulsively affected by promotional materials. The iPhone is a good case in point. Although due to some design flaw, there are sporadic incidents about this smart phone’s self-burn issue and people were reported injured, myriad of our younger generation are still obsessed with apple’s products and spend thousands of dollars each year on updating devices, accessories, and related products (apps and games for instance). This is the win of propaganda. The Apple has become the biggest smart phone company, which can perfectly prove that encouraging people to buy in quantity has eclipsed boosting quality for aforementioned companies.

Consequently, I would like to reiterate that some industries cannot subsist without guaranteeing quality, while other companies need to promote more products to make their fortunes.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Feel free to make any comment.

July 12, 2012
6:16 pm
Avatar
writefix
Guest
Guests

Hi Marlboro_hom and welcome to Writefix.

Thanks for your essay. It's unusual. 

It’s probably a better idea to look around for a few days, post ONE essay, wait for some comments and perhaps write some yourself on other people’s essays, and THEN post a second essay. There’s no point posting many essays which are the same!

I don’t know where to start really.  I think the problem begins with the question:  I would love to see this original question and its exact wording.

What I am going to do is to cross off all the phrases which are wrong, meaningless, empty, or which I do not understand. Be prepared:

At time of writing, there is a notion stating that advertisements wish customers to purchase more and deliberately water down the importance of products’ and services’ qualities. I personally believe that it is partly true as it depends on the strategies that companies are using.

It should be noticed that quality is the life for some industry, ad hoc watch manufactory. Through their advertisements, people can find that punctuation and durability is always two main measurements for valuing their products. In light of this, watch manufactories have endeavoured in creating an image of top notch quality via advertising during centuries.  In this way, advertising does promote products’ quality.

On the flip side, not all industries use same marketing strategy as their watch-making counterparts. It is precisely because good quality does not always reflect to high sales, as customers impulsively affected by promotional materials. The iPhone is a good case in point. Although due to some design flaw, there are sporadic incidents about this smart phone’s self-burn issue and people were reported injured, myriad of our younger generation are still obsessed with apple’s products and spend thousands of dollars each year on updating devices, accessories, and related products (apps and games for instance). This is the win of propaganda. The Apple has become the biggest smart phone company, which can perfectly prove that encouraging people to buy in quantity has eclipsed boosting quality for aforementioned companies.

Consequently, I would like to reiterate that some industries cannot subsist without guaranteeing quality, while other companies need to promote more products to make their fortunes

Now I’m going to write a version of what I think you mean but I am going to do this:

  • Remove all tired phrases
  • Replace inappropriate word choices
  • Check agreement
  • Check articles
  • Shorten sentences

There won’t be a whole lot, because there is only 1 idea in each of your body paragraphs (there should be 3). Here's my version: 

Does advertising emphasize quality or is it designed purely to increase sales? In this essay, I will look at ads from two industries with different approaches: one stressing quality and another focusing on quantity.

Advertising for watches is an excellent example of a focus on quality. Watch makers stress the accuracy, craftsmanship and beauty of their products. Brands such as Rolex or Patek Phillipe are synonymous with exclusivity. As part of this, their owners sponsor prestigious events such as sailing, horse-racing or golf. The overall intent of their branding is to create an aura of quality, sophistication, elegance and luxury.

However not all companies take this approach.  Many companies prefer to make their profits through selling in high volume. Apple’s iPhones and iPads are some of the most successful business stories of the last decade. Millions of the products have been sold despite design flaws and problems with batteries. As consumers, we seem to be willing to overlook many deficiencies in our desire to own Apple products.

In conclusion, brands target different groups of customers, but the effectiveness of advertising is the same.  Whether we pay tens of thousands of dollars for an unnecessary piece of jewelry or hundreds to play with a short-lived phone, we are still mindlessly chasing the dream advertisers are selling us.

I still really dislike this topic and I don’t like my essay. I tried to keep to your ideas, but I still don’t like it.

But I encourage you Marlboro_hom to go back to basics, read a lot of the other essays on this site, and start over. Simple sentences. Simple vocab. Simple ideas. Start at the beginning.  

I don't give bands here. Anyone else on the forum is welcome to suggest a band, however.

Have a look at the official descriptors for IELTS Task 2 Writing (public version) here, and have a look for these phrases:

  • "presents some main ideas but these are limited and not sufficiently developed; there may be irrelevant detail"
  • "expresses a position but the development is not always clear" 
  • "there may be a lack of overall progression"
  • "attempts complex sentences but these tend to be less accurate than simple sentences"
  • "may make frequent grammatical errors and punctuation may be faulty; errors can cause some difficulty for the reader"

What band are you hoping for in IELTS?

July 23, 2012
7:48 pm
Avatar
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 3
Member Since:
July 11, 2012
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Hi, there.

Thanks for your reply, and you've really do a lot of jobs, which is productive and constructive.

Despite your comments, I do appreciate and admire the model essay you've written. It flows naturally and get exactly what I want to convey to the readers.

Back to you comments, indeed, as English is not my first language, I can't always produce a sentence as native as you do. That frustrates me a lot. To make up this, I read the age, which is one local melbourne based tabloid, and try to learn from it. If you don't mind, could you give me some hints about reading and learning method please?

Again, thanks for your feedback. Looking forward to getting you here.

 

Cheers,

Marlbo

Forum Timezone: Asia/Dubai

Most Users Ever Online: 299

Currently Online:
8 Guest(s)

Currently Browsing this Page:
1 Guest(s)

Member Stats:

Guest Posters: 1

Members: 172

Moderators: 1

Admins: 2

Forum Stats:

Groups: 1

Forums: 3

Topics: 545

Posts: 2204

Moderators: Newestadmin: 0

Top
Do NOT follow this link or you will be banned from the site!