Thanks for this essay, and for the one on noise in cities. I will wait a day or two before I reply to that one to give other people a chance. Come on, folks - don’t be shy! Just a couple of ideas or sentences is fine.
In this modern technology century,
jLim, just use ‘today’ instead of ‘modern technology century’ or ‘electronic age’ or ‘modern technology era’ or ‘we are living in age of technological wonder’ or ‘we find ourself in e-age.’ The simple word ‘today’ is fine. Or leave it out altogether!
I’d make a small change to the present perfect tense - ‘has brought’ instead of bring:
The amazing development of the media has brought us a lot of benefits.
It let us know the latest information in a recent time==> It lets us know the latest information almost immediately.
Usage/Word Choice/ Word Form
In this essay I will discuss that whether media should has limited to give report by the government. ==>
In this essay I will discuss whether the media should be more tightly controlled by the government.
Next, television reporters also let us know the happen from the other sides of our nation.
Television reporters also let us know the happenings from the other side of our nation. OR , Television reporters also let us know what is happening on the other side of our nation.
‘Next’ is to show time. It’s good in Task 1 to describe a process. In Task 2, use ‘in addition,’ or ‘furthermore,’ or ‘also’ instead.
- Reporting by the media will bring them a lot of harmful ==> Reports in the media will bring them a lot of harm.
- For example: when they come out from prison they hard to face to the society because many people will despise them .
For example, when they come out from prison they will find it hard to face society. Many people will despise them.
- The most important thing is the media programmers should give the responsibility to the society.
The most important thing is that the media programmers should be responsible. OR The most important thing is the media should act responsibly.
- In addition, media will coverage some fraudulent or misleading information. ==> In addition, the media often presents some false or misleadinginformation.
Use modals like ‘can’ or ‘may’ or ‘might’ instead of ‘will.’ Nobody can argue with ‘may’ or ‘might,’ but ‘will’ is a dangerous generalization.
- Some people say media has intruded their privacies==>Some people say the media has intruded on their privacy.
- Most people read newspaper every morning ==> Most people read the /a newspaper every morning
- However, media has some weaknesses that impact people so much ==> However, the media has some weaknesses which can really hurt people.
This is what we always say: “International Aid”!
No quotes! No quotes! Don’t quote! Don’t put anything in quotation marks! Just report it:
We can send aid to victims of earthquakes, floods, famines and war anywhere in the world.
Read more about quotes here.
Don’t start sentences with 'And,' 'So,' 'But,' 'For,' 'Because,' 'Also,' or 'Yet.' This sentence is not complete - it’s a fragment:
So we can send money or give support to the hungry children or frightened refuges.
These images will encourage us to send money or give support to the hungry children or frightened refugees.
I like your conclusion, but you have added some new information (the sentence about the government). You shouldn’t add new info in the conclusion. You told us you were going to talk about the government in your thesis sentence, but you didn’t! It’s too late in the conclusion. Oops!
Overall, you have some nice sentences and ideas, e..g “It is because they want to attract people to watch their channel or buy their magazines.” Just relax and try and check the word choice, the word form, and the articles