Welcome back to writefix. I am quite busy these days so I just give some comments about the structure as well as coherence.
1) In the introduction, you wrote:
In this essay, i will analyse how ready-to-eat food affect people and say why i prefer home-cooked food.
I understand this is your thesis sentence. However, the question ask you "What are the advantages and disadvantages of such development?". There is nothing wrong with your thesis sentence, but I think it should relate to the question. The question does not require you to give your opinion, so I think it is unnecessary to do that.
2) In terms of the body paragraphs, I think you should divide by two paragraphs: one for the advantages, another for the disadvantages.
a) In the first body paragraph, you wrote:
In general, ready-to-eat food fits with modern life but if we abuse too much fast food, it will not be benefit, even be harmful to health.
This is about one disadvantage of fast food. The above sentences you talk about the advantages of fast food, so this sentence should be put in the next paragraph to reduce confusion for the readers.
b) In the second body paragraph, you wrote:
Secondly, habits of eating ready-to-eat food make the young women neglecting housework, which plays an important role in family happiness.
The word "housework" seems not suitable in this sentence. I think housework means cleaning house, cooking, etc. Obviously, eating ready-to-eat food has no influence on cleaning house. In my opinion, you should replace the word by "cooking" or "food preparation". Also, you need to develop this idea by giving example to support this.
3) In your conclusion, you gave some advice about whether we should eat fast food or traditional food. I think it is not relate to the question. You should only summarise the advantages and disadvantages which is mentioned in the body paragraph.
Hope that helps! I don't have time to give comments on your grammatical mistakes now, maybe I will continue to comment on it in the next few days.
PS: I am not a native speaker, so my comments might be wrong.