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Fewer people are cooking. Is this a good thing?
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July 31, 2012
10:49 am
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More and more people start buying ready-to-eat food and fewer people cooking for themselves. What are the advantages and disadvantages of such development? 


Nowadays, when society develops day by day, people seem to be busier. That explains why more people start buying ready-to-eat food and fewer cooking for themselves. In this essay, i will analyse how ready-to-eat food affect people and say why i prefer home-cooked food.

The most obvious advantage of fast food is that it saves time. When you return home after a hard working day, there is nothing better than getting a ready-made meal. Fewer people cooking for themselves due to leeway. In fact, a home-cooked meal involves much time. There are many steps such as: making a list of ingredients, going to supermarket to buy raw materials, returning home to wash, peel....and then cooking. In general, ready-to-eat food fits with modern life but if we abuse too much fast food, it will not be benefit, even be harmful to health.

Firstly, when you prepare and eat food at hoe, you are not afraid of ingredient quality. The ingredient used in fast food may contain high levels of salt, fat and preservatives. If you used them excessively, it damages the heart, kidneys even raises blood pressure. Secondly, habits of eating ready-to-eat food make the young women neglecting housework, which plays an important role in family happiness. In addition, the prevalence of fast food also wipes out family traditional meals. Children and adults rarely to eat together now, and thereby get fewer opportunities to talk.

In conclusion, each choice has its own disadvantages. I believe that if you try to prepare and eat food at home, you will feel happy. You also eat ready-to-eat food when you are really busy. If carefully, you might find some healthy fast food on a menu of good restaurants.

August 4, 2012
12:26 pm
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someone give me comment....pls

August 4, 2012
2:02 pm
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Hi Huynhtho

Have a look at the comments by Xiaoyu, DavidLee and myself on your other essay. After you've had a chance to look at them, maybe you can make some changes to this essay.  

I prefer this essay -  it's much better than the one on shopping - but there are still some changes you could make)

Thanks.

August 4, 2012
2:27 pm
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Hi huynhtho,

Welcome back to writefix. I am quite busy these days so I just give some comments about the structure as well as coherence.

1) In the introduction, you wrote:

In this essay, i will analyse how ready-to-eat food affect people and say why i prefer home-cooked food.

 

I understand this is your thesis sentence. However, the question ask you "What are the advantages and disadvantages of such development?". There is nothing wrong with your thesis sentence, but I think it should relate to the question. The question does not require you to give your opinion, so I think it is unnecessary to do that. 

2) In terms of the body paragraphs, I think you should divide by two paragraphs: one for the advantages, another for the disadvantages.

a) In the first body paragraph, you wrote:

In general, ready-to-eat food fits with modern life but if we abuse too much fast food, it will not be benefit, even be harmful to health.

 

This is about one disadvantage of fast food. The above sentences you talk about the advantages of fast food, so this sentence should be put in the next paragraph to reduce confusion for the readers.

b) In the second body paragraph, you wrote:

Secondly, habits of eating ready-to-eat food make the young women neglecting housework, which plays an important role in family happiness.

The word "housework" seems not suitable in this sentence. I think housework means cleaning house, cooking, etc. Obviously, eating ready-to-eat food has no influence on cleaning house. In my opinion, you should replace the word by "cooking" or "food preparation". Also, you need to develop this idea by giving example to support this.

3) In your conclusion, you gave some advice about whether we should eat fast food or traditional food. I think it is not relate to the question. You should only summarise the advantages and disadvantages which is mentioned in the body paragraph.

 

Hope that helps! I don't have time to give comments on your grammatical mistakes now, maybe I will continue to comment on it in the next few days.

PS: I am not a native speaker, so my comments might be wrong.

 

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