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Do we become used to bad news in the media?
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June 26, 2012
1:14 pm
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News editors decide what to broadcast on television and what to print in newspaper. What factors do you think influence these decisions? Do we become used to bad news?


News agencies are considered as sources of disseminating news and information instantly and effectively. No one can argue about the importance of newspaper and TV for gathering information, however, the reliability and unbiasedness of news agencies are often questioned by many.

Being an organization, there is always someone who monitor the activities of media house. The monitoring of what is to be published in paper and what is to be displayed on screen is usually done by news editors. What news editors choose for public depends on the organization interest, personal interest and level of social responsibilities that the editors assume.

One case I remember is that a local TV broadcasted news of its reporters being beaten severely by protesters and their vehicle being destroyed on the same time. The next day lots of local people raised question mark on TV since, on that day, local people had saved the reporters and their vehicle unscathed. This is one of the so many incidence which leads us to think about lack of trustworthiness, social responsibilities and journalism ethics in news editor.

The news that news editor selects is also dependent on the political inclination of media house. It is very common in our country to see difference in opinion and importance among the organizations. 

In my opinion 'good' and 'bad' are not the classification of news. News are just absolute information. The intention, interest and presentation of journalist make the same news 'bad' and 'good'. Because of increased of TV and newspaper, provocative, defaming and biased news are also increasing which is, for sure, a negative impact for our society. Such practices must be discouraged by the government.

At last I would like to say that political interest and specific organizational strategy are acceptable but news editor should be unbiased and most importantly should bear some social responsibilities. There are good examples of broadcasters like BBC and CNN which are known for their reliability and accuracy.

June 26, 2012
9:17 pm
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Overall essay is really good.Sentence are well balanced.Though am still in learning phase of IELTS essay writing, but I  think you lack addressal at the end of first  paragraph.You need to work on linking between paragraphs.If possible try to exprees your point of view at the concluding paragraph.Hope it will help you to give your best in next essay.Good Luck.

June 27, 2012
2:45 pm
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Hi Ramesh and welcome to Writefix!

 

Ramesh789, I’ve read and re-read the essay and while it is easy to read, it is quite difficult to see how it is organized. Your style is more conversational than written. I would aim for a simpler layout with 35553 or 3773 (35553 is probably better for this essay). Try to have paragraphs of equal length.

Part of the problem is the absence of short topic sentences to help the reader know what the main idea of each paragraph is. Another part is the absence of a thesis sentence. You can read more about Thesis sentences here.

Have a look at the official descriptors for IELTS Task 2 Writing (public version) here, under Coherence and Cohesion. This is the area where you might lose marks in IELTS. A grumpy examiner might mark you down as low as Band 5 because of

  • "presents information with some organisation but there may be a lack of overall progression"
  • "may not write in paragraphs, or paragraphing may be inadequate"

This is clearly far below your overall level. Your grade is an average of Vocabulary, Grammar, Task Response, and Coherence/Cohesion. It would be disappointing to have a very good grade for Vocabulary or Grammar and then only a Band 5 - or worse  - for coherence.

So – here are my suggestions:

  • Have a thesis sentence. Tell the reader what is coming. Bindu noticed this absence of a topic sentence. The reader really wants to know why he or she is reading the essay, and what you are going to tell them.
  • Have a short topic sentence in each paragraph (Short means fewer than 10 or 12 words)
  • Have one central topic per paragraph. I think you have this already but it’s certainly not Band 8 (“presents a clear central topic within each paragraph”
  • Write shorter sentences.
  • Use a simpler layout -  35553 is probably the easiest. (Read more about 3773 and 35553 layouts here.)
  • Use a slightly more academic style. You can still use "I," "In my opinion," or "I think" but less narration would be better.

These may seem as if you are taking a step backwards, but I guarantee you that the result will be an easier essay to read for the reader and higher marks from an examiner.

I wrote lots of other points, but they are not as important as these ones. I hope you can add another essay and comment on some other people in the forum.

June 27, 2012
3:17 pm
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Thank you very much Mr Writefix for having reviewed my essay.

The comments are certainly helpful for me. I will surely upload another essay including suggestions.

Thank you once again for your valuable review.

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