Hey, frank

Since 2008, many countries have been in economy recession, which leads to a large number of unemployment among young people. Either individuals or society as a whole has suffered tragic trouble arisen by unemployment. This essay will analyze this big headache (of what) and offer some possible solutions to for jobless young people.

First, jobless make young people face survival trouble because they don’t not have their own savings, pension or any possessions to fill their stomachs.(well, i dont think saving and pension related to greedy) Young unemployed people may not have certain employment years to claim unemployment insurance. Even more badly, some new graduates can only gain financial help (assistance would be better) from their parents. Many families fell into crisis because their parents need to raise them by their pension or low salaries. Second, some young jobless people may commit crimes (u lose the n. here) in order to earn (earn is incorrect, rob and stole can call earn?) money. When new graduates are forced to stay at home because of they are not be able to get their first work contract, they will exploit (exploit, huh, I dont think its right, while i m not sure. i ll use seek here) any opportunityies to earn money for survival. They may ignore regulations or and be willing to take higher risk to make money. This can be threaten to others’ interests (crime hurts interest? i dont think it make sense) and possession security. Criminal Crime rate will rise, such as gamble, theft or and fraud. The whole society will become turmoil and economy recovery becomes remote.

However, facing unavoidable troubles (u lose wome words here), government should firstly take some measures to reduce negative influences. Government can use tax leverage,and interest means to help young people create business opportunities and self employment. Young people can go back to campus to learn new knowledge (incorrect, knowledge can prepare recovery? i guess u lose subject here) preparing for economy recovery. Also, young people can work abroad where they are wanted (just want is okay). Once young people have their jobs or loved career, some crazy or incorrect methods for earn money can disappeared to great extent. (lose comma, the punctuation is important. if u lose it, the comprehend ability of reader would fall in trouble)

In conclusion, unemployment can bring troubles to victims, - unemployed young people themselves and society. Because young jobless people or jobless youths will focus on money for their hungry stomachs, which may damage others. (i dont think one person hungry hurts others.) Therefore government should use every possible means to help them and young people learn to adapt to reality by updating knowledge or migrate to new places for survival. (in the no money status, who can mirgate and relocate to other spots. I guess u should say government should lend money to them, increase their salary and pension)

Overall, ur thaught and idea is great. BUT some luxical choice is incorrect and some grammar and punctuarion problems exist in your essay. U use some old phrases, maybe u can change.

Best regards,

David

Hi

here a possible rewrite:( I tried to to be loyal to the original text)

Too many countries have plunged into economic recession since 2008, which led to a large number of unemployment among young people.  Both individuals and a society have been suffering from difficulties arisen by unemployment. This essay will analyze these problems and offer some possible solution to address the joblessness of young people.

The first problem that jobless young people might face is losing their income. There is no doubt that handling life appears extremely hard to young people. They even might have no enough employment years to benefit from unemployment insurance. When it comes to fresh graduates it gets even worse, as their parents should bear financial burdens. And in this makes hard to living for many families who just earn low income or live on a state passion. Second, unemployment might lead to commit crimes. It is likely that those jobless young people, who failed to find jobs, inevitably breach the law or even contribute to more serious illegal activities such as bank robbery or even murder.

To tackle this problem some measures should put into practice. Firstly, much more jobs should be created. For this, government can impose financial motivation such as cut taxes for those enterprises who act as an entrepreneurship. Secondly, state can help new graduates through providing low-interest loans to run their own business. And the last, the rate of unemployment could be reduced through immigration. In some countries, such as Turkey and Pakistan, for years the government was running agencies to help unemployment work abroad.