Hi ChrisLuke!

Thanks for this essay. You seem to be working hard!  The essay is fine, the organization is clear, and your ideas are supported.

Word Choice/Word Form/Usage

• The primary argument against free public transport is costly. → The primary argument against free public transport is cost.
• Another problem relates to transit service. → Another problem relates to the quality of the service offered.  OR   Another problem relates to enjoyment users’ experience
• Last point of these is alleviating traffic overload.  → The last point is alleviating traffic overload.
• If, for example, less people drive  → If, for example, fewer people drive
• the road will be wider and safer → the road will be quieter and safer
• lowers the quality of transit service. → lowers the quality of service 

You wrote:

There are, however, more benefits fare-free policy brings than its disadvantages to the passengers and government. 

You can often remove 'there is/are' and make your sentence stronger:

A fare-free policy can offer many advantages to both passengers and governments.

Shorten/Simplify

You wrote a 28-word sentence. It’s a bit long and vague at the end.

This can be evidenced by that inebriated riders may harass other passengers and vandalize the property, thereby resulting in a negative impact on the quality of transport service.

Here are some possible rewrites:

Drunk riders may harass other passengers and vandalize the property.  (10 words)  OR

Drunk or antisocial users may harass other passengers or vandalize the property and discourage people from using the service. (19 words)

Clarify

You are working hard to have short idea sentences, and that’s great, but some are a bit cryptic and need more information. For example, you wrote:  

The first of these is free of charge.

Here are some possible rewrites:

The biggest advantage is that commuters can save money.   OR The obvious advantage is that more people can travel more easily and affordably.

Conclusion

You’ve mentioned the negative sides  in your conclusion -  why not mention the advantages? You wrote:

This policy, however, generates more advantages than disadvantages to people, environment and traffic.

Here’s one possible rewrite:

This policy however can mean safer roads, less pollution and greater mobility for residents and visitors.