Hey, Blue Sky, thanks for your topic. I'm also new here and want to improve my writing

1. After reading your essay, I feel it's obviously following those templates, which writefix told me that we should throw them away.

2. I feel the following sentense not supporting your point, just my feeling, may not correct.

   " Another advantage is in case of any urgent medical case when the ambulance tries to reach faster to the hospital to save one's life or in case of police trying to catch a criminal, they would catch him faster and easier."

3. The following highlight seems rudundant

  "it should minimize the charge of using the public transports to the minimum"

Blue Sky said

Public transport could be made free of charge. Are there more advantages or disadvantages to this change?

 Introduction :not clearly

Nowadays, Public Transport is one of the important parts of our life. There will be very good(weak wording) impact to the country and society if the public transport made free. This is because many people will be encouraged going to use them. However, I would like to show, in this essay, why there are more advantages of making the public transport services free and why there will be few disadvantages.

 

At the beginning(use the phrase incorrectly), making the public transport like metros, buses or taxis free of charge means attracting many people to ride these types of transport. This will result in people abandon their own transports like private cars or motors. The advantage beyond that is the city environment would be improved due to the reduction of the extracted carbon from the car exhausts. Moreover, car accidents and even fatal accidents will be reduced to the minimum due to less of traffic violence and fines. Another advantage is in case of any urgent medical case when the ambulance tries to reach faster to the hospital to save one's life or in case of police trying to catch a criminal, they would catch him faster and easier.

 

On the contrary(may not correct phrase here), there might be few disadvantages too due hindering of the public transport to be free of charge. Except the rich countries, not every country is able to make that. This is because of the government will solely bear the charge of the public transport maintenance, which often be very expensive. In addition the government will solely pay the salaries of the associated working staff. These extra charges, some governments may not be able to pay for. Thus, the need to claim charge or Tareef from the users of the public transport is crucial.

 

As a conclusion, I would prefer that the governments should make balancing among above both points of views. From one side, it should minimize the charge of using the public transports to the minimum, so everyone can ride it. Then from other side, the governments should give fare maintenance services to the public transport to ensure the safety of them and fare salaries to their associated staff to ensure better service to gain more customers.

 Overall:Too much grammatical error,repitition,problems with word choice,cliched,generic sentence.Stating opinion unclearly and dont support it well =>hard for readers to follow.

U should practice more and more,make an outline before starting to write.refer to some wrting books of Cambridge,Oxford or Longman.