Hi ngoc.anh,
Welcome to writefix! I think your essay is great with a wide range of vocabulary an grammar. You ideas are also clear and easy to follow. Keep up the good work!
However, I just want to mention a few points:
Howere, I firmly believe that there are other ways to deal with transport problems in some cases.
--> However, I firmly believe that there are other ways to deal with transport problems. (the phrase "in some cases" sound vague in my opinion)
Even-though this solution might make the roads a bit safer, whether does everyone accept to wait for a long time to catch up buses or to sit in crowded underground or not?
-->Even though this solution might increase road safety, many people may not accept to wait for a long time to catch up buses or to sit in crowded underground stations.
In order to do this, governments, especially, focus on educating the local and implementing all policies effectively in effort to reduce the number of automobiles on the roads.
--> In order to do this, governments should focus on educating the local in effort to reduce the number of automobiles on the roads. (The phrase "implementing all policies" sound vague, you should write directly which policy ?)
Therefore, besides using heavy punishment, governments in cooperate with individuals should minimize the increase of population as well as try to avoid residents' gathering with overcrowded density on a city
-->Therefore, besides giving heavy punishment, governments may cooperate with local authorities to minimize the increase in population, especially in cities.
Government and local authorities should also allocate the budget to reconstruction of the old public transport system, improve and provide more kinds of service, in common with reducing the cost of traveling for buses, train and subways.
-->Official leaders should also allocate more budget for upgrading the old public transport system as well as reducing public transport fares.
This will the better way to solce the traffic problems in general and to limit the growth of cares in particular.
-->These policies may help to solve traffic problems in general and to limit the growth of cars in particular.
PS: I'm not a native speaker, so my comments may not correct. Hope that helps!