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Should we give beggars money ?
Topic Rating: 5 Topic Rating: 5 Topic Rating: 5 Topic Rating: 5 Topic Rating: 5 Topic Rating: 5 (1 votes) 
April 1, 2012
9:52 pm
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Seeing pitiful beggars begging money  along the roadside, some passer-by may respond them with money, meanwhile some claims that it is not a right idea to do so. This essay will show my point of view that we should consider two important things before chairing them our money.

Giving money to beggars will not solve begging problem. As long as this behavior fetch them appreciate return, they would certainly carry it on. There should be other solutions to get those beggars out of begging. By looking at the cause that lead them to this situation and so that we can properly and effectively deal with those triggers. Moreover, there is usually a project from government or any organization to take this responsibility. The project would have appropriate procedure to cope with the case. And we would better financially support this program instead.

In addition, while being able to work as ordinary workers, many people pretend to be beggars. And usually this pitiful acting bring back worthy income. Some act as being disable . They sit in poor manner begging on the pathway, for example. Furthermore, some work in a team. They have their own organized office to manage the business. The money they got from individual will be summed up in the office and then divided for everyone as their dividend, e.g. in Thailand and Laos.

Helping poor people is a wonderful behavior. But be careful before granting them money as it may not either really help nor being tricked by those false beggars.  

 

254 words

April 6, 2012
5:07 pm
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writefix
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Hi Youtthasack

Good work on the length of this essay  -  you've reached the magic 250 words. The organization is clear too: a very clear and helpful thesis sentence:

This essay will show my point of view that we should consider two important things before sharing our money with them.

...and two clearly organized and developed paragraphs about why we should not give to beggars. In Your conclusion also does a nice job of summarizing in different words and of giving advice.

Well done!

How long did you spend on this essay?

April 6, 2012
5:16 pm
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writefix
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Hello again!

Just a few grammar and usage points:

Seeing pitiful beggars begging money  along the roadside, some passer-by may respond them with money, meanwhile some claims that it is not a right idea to do so.

I think this would be better in two sentences (I've removed the repetition of beggars/begging:

Seeing pitiful beggars pleading for money along the roadside, some passers-by may respond by giving them money. However, other people claim that it is not the right thing to do.

We should consider two important things before chairing them our money.==>We should consider two important things before sharing our money with them.

  1. Giving money to beggars will not solve begging problem. ==> Giving money to beggars will not solve the begging problem.
  2. And we would better financially support this program instead. ==> It would be better to support this program financially instead.
  3. And usually this pitiful acting bring back worthy income==> Usually, this pitiful acting brings back a worthwhile income.

 

 

April 7, 2012
2:20 pm
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Thank you so much, Writefox, for your correction.

It took me so long around 90 min.

 

I always have problems with the time. I found it very difficult to create ideas on a topic.

Once I have, I'm affraid that idea will not work.

Could you give me any suggestion, plz ?

April 8, 2012
7:52 pm
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writefix
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Hi Youtthasack

Nick mentioned exactly the same problem yesterday. It's always tough to get ideas. Here's a link to the reply I gave. 

You can also find some suggestions here. Basicallly, it just means writing down every word you can think of (NOT ideas -  they will come naturally!) based on the keywords in the question. It works for me, sometimes...

Hope they help. 

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