Welcome!

In the forum on this page you can see IELTS essays by people just like you. Hundreds of people added essays and comments and helped each other to get a great IELTS essay score! Have a look at their amazing writing!

Please note: This forum is closed!

closed

Sorry! However, please enjoy the hundreds of essays and thousands of comments still available here. A HUGE thanks to all the writers who commented and to all the visitors. We hope we've made IELTS writing less scary.

Popular Tags

Click the links below to see essays on that topic.

art business communication children crime culture economy education environment families food freedom globalization
health heritage  leisure media politics science society sports television travel technology transport university violence work

Avatar

Lost password?
Advanced Search

— Forum Scope —




— Match —





— Forum Options —





Minimum search word length is 3 characters - maximum search word length is 84 characters

sp_Feed Topic RSS sp_Related Related Topics sp_TopicIcon
Society is based on rules and laws.
Topic Rating: 0 Topic Rating: 0 Topic Rating: 0 Topic Rating: 0 Topic Rating: 0 Topic Rating: 0 (0 votes) 
March 6, 2012
6:16 pm
Avatar
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 19
Member Since:
March 4, 2012
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Society is based on rules and laws. It could not function well if individuals were free to do as they please. To what extent do you agree or disagree?


We live in the world where peace and safety is an ever priority. Although certain laws are essential to maintain the peace in society. Some people, however, consider these rules as an obstacle for their liberty. In this essay I will discuss importance of law and effects of breaking laws in society.

There are several reasons why laws are significant for the society. Firstly, laws imposed by the governments provide limitations. If people know what are  their duties and  rights, it would definitely help them to enjoy their freedom fearlessly. Secondly, rules are made for the benefit of citizens. Abiding law attitude not only helps people to perform their chores safely but prevents adverse consequences. Another important point is that following laws respects merit. In fact, violation of laws often results in discrimination. Moreover, desecration of merit would reflect as instability and utter chaos in society. However there are many rules that are ineffective and unproductive. Any sensible government can revoke these laws to facilitate its citizen.

Many people argue that laws and rules limit their freedom. Disobedience of law often consider as a right. Despite of great dangers involved, over speeding and performing stunts on the bikes, is a great source of fun for youngsters. In fact, how dangerous is driving under influence of alcohol. That causing fatalities and injuries of innocent people. Furthermore, some sacrifices and patience from citizens is prerequisite for maintenance of peace and normal functioning of society. In deed, it is important for the government to assure people more peace eventually following certain laws. Otherwise, the chaos and disturbance in society is inevitable. Additionally, carrying arms by the common people is illegal in all societies. Accidental deaths and injuries are often reported as a result of its violation.

To sum up, governments imposed laws to make the state a civilized society, thus people should tolerate these restrictions as prevention to awful consequences. I reiterate,  by abiding laws implemented by governments, people would enjoy safer life and freedom.

March 8, 2012
12:02 pm
Avatar
writefix
Guest
Guests

Hello Naheed and thanks for this essay

Articles

  1. We live in the world ==> We live in a world with limited resources.
  2. I will discuss importance of law and effects of breaking laws in society. ==> I will discuss the importance of law and the effects of breaking laws on society.
  3. There are several reasons why laws are significant for the society. ==> There are several reasons why laws are significant for society.
  4. Patience from citizens is prerequisite ==> Patience from citizens is a prerequisite
  5. Otherwise, the chaos and disturbance in society is inevitable. ==> Otherwise, chaos and disturbance in society is inevitable.
  • Generally, if the idea is intangible or abstract (you cannot touch it) -  there is NO article -  happiness, religion, joy, peace, chaos, life, etc.
  • If a specific thing is being talked about, you need 'the' or 'a/an' -  "Islam is the main religion in Indonesia" or "The happiness I felt when I became a father was immeasurable" or "Good eyesight is a prerequisite for being a pilot"

Fragments

This is not a full sentence:

Although certain laws are essential to maintain the peace in society.

Be careful with 'Although' - I recommend NOT using "Although," "But," "So," "Because," "And," and "For" at the start of sentences. Leave them until after the exam!

The easy way to fix a fragment problem is to join to the previous or next sentence.

Although certain laws are essential to maintain a peaceful society, some people consider these rules an restriction on their liberty.

In fact, how dangerous is driving under influence of alcohol. That causing fatalities and injuries of innocent people.

This could be rewritten as: 

Driving under the influence of alcohol causes fatalities and injuries for innocent people.

Verb Tense: Passive

Avoid the passive. It's harder to get right. 

Disobedience of law often consider as a right.

  1. Disobedience is often considered a right. OR 
  2. Disobedience is often considered to be a right. OR 
  3. Many people consider it their right to disobey laws.

Word Order

If people know what are their duties and rights, it would definitely help them to enjoy their freedom ==>

If people know what their duties and rights are, it would definitely help them to enjoy their freedom

But it's not needed at all: here's a shorter version:

Knowing their duties and rights helps people to enjoy their freedom.

Simplify, simplify, simplify, and explain...

In the sentence below, it's better to specify the consequences. Don't forget that the IELTS tasks asks for your opinion and examples.

Abiding law attitude not only helps people to perform their chores safely but prevents adverse consequences.

If people have a law-abiding attitude, they can go about their daily life safely and avoid problems with the police.

Another important point is that following laws respects merit.

Naheed, I have no idea what this means. Can you help? The sentence after it does not help. It starts with the word "Moreover" which means a new idea or something additional. It's not used in the correct way here.

Another important point is that following laws respects merit. Moreover, desecration of merit would reflect as instability and utter chaos in society.

Simplify: do you mean something like:

  1. Another important point is that following laws is the right thing to do. Our religion and cultural values stress the importance of obeying the reasonable rules of our government. OR
  2. Another important point is that laws are necessary. Without laws, society would become unstable and chaotic.

Opinions and examples

In fact, violation of laws often results in discrimination.

There is no problem with the English in this sentence, but it needs examples to explain how people are discriminated against when they break laws. 

Organization

The example of guns might be better after the example of drunk driving.

Overall, Naheed, try try try to simplify. Avoid using the passive and write more about people. Give examples for every idea.

March 8, 2012
12:43 pm
Avatar
Dongguan, China
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 88
Member Since:
March 2, 2012
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

the explanation of articles is very helpful. Sometimes I got confused about that too

March 8, 2012
9:33 pm
Avatar
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 19
Member Since:
March 4, 2012
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Thanks for your helpful suggestion.

Let me explain what I meant in this sentence,

"Another important point is that following laws respects merit. Moreover, desecration of merit would reflect as instability and utter chaos in society."

 

I tried to talked about violation of merit in universities and  offices .where due to favourism or under political infuence deserving candidates often failed to get admission or promotions.

Thanks again &Regards.

March 9, 2012
8:33 am
Avatar
writefix
Guest
Guests

Hi Naheed

Thanks - I understand your idea now. I think if you gave an example it would be easier! 

So, you wrote

Another important point is that following laws respects merit. In fact, violation of laws often results in discrimination. Moreover, desecration of merit would reflect as instability and utter chaos in society. 

With some examples, this could be written:

One important rule in most societies is that appointments and promotions are based on merit: the best or most able people get the position. Of course, this does not always happen because of mismanagement, political influence or discrimination, but generally, when people get jobs or positions based on merit, companies succeed and  organizations thrive. However, if lazy or unskilled people were routinely promoted, then organizations and entire societies would soon be completely corrupt, leaderless, and ineffective.  

I know it's long. It's a difficult idea!  Anyone want to try a shorter version?

March 9, 2012
3:20 pm
Avatar
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 19
Member Since:
March 4, 2012
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Hi Enda,

 thanks again , now I understand how to explain ideas to make it easier for others.

Any way I am waiting to see your comments for other essays on 'prevention is better than cure'  and 'happiness '.

THANKS & REGARDS 

Forum Timezone: Asia/Dubai

Most Users Ever Online: 299

Currently Online:
33 Guest(s)

Currently Browsing this Page:
1 Guest(s)

Member Stats:

Guest Posters: 1

Members: 172

Moderators: 1

Admins: 2

Forum Stats:

Groups: 1

Forums: 3

Topics: 545

Posts: 2204

Moderators: Newestadmin: 0