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Who should pay for pollution - individuals, companies or governments?
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July 13, 2012
11:41 pm
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Some people argue that companies and private individuals, not government, should pay the bill of pollution cheanup. To what extent you agree or disagree?


 

Any economic development must have experienced exploration of natural environment. I think beneficiaries of economic development have obligations and duties to pay off contamination cost, no matter beneficiaries are companies and private individuals or government. There should not be absolute and designated subjects burdening environment cost in long run.

It is fair that beneficiaries of natural resources bear environment cost when developers take advantages of natural resource to earn returns for their investments. These developers may be private companies or public businesses or government itself. Which one is beneficiary doesn’t matter. What is important is that beneficial owners should legally commit the environmental recovery obligations. Environment cost is one item of whole operation costs, which is widely accepted by accounting principles and economic regulations in the world. Of course, overwhelming developers are companies and private individuals who are engaging in various sectors and using natural resources. There is no doubt they pay off pollution bill.

However, some mining or petrol companies may be operated by stated-controlled groups in some countries. Under this situation governments also have obligations and liabilities to recover environment. The difference is that whether governments directly pay the bill or indirectly through groups controlled by them. In essence, it is government that should commit the payment.

In conclusion, we should follow benefit approach to judge who is debtor of compensating environmental exploration. The key point is that receivers who enjoy return of natural resources development should bear the pollution cost. Just in this way human can be in an effective and responsibly way to use natural resources without at the price of environment.

July 16, 2012
3:38 pm
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Hi Ma-Frank

Thanks for your essay.

Nominalizations

Your essay is a bit dense, and that means it’s not the easiest to read. There are a lot of nouns or nominalizations in yours sentences. You should try for a simpler, more flowing style.  Nouns or nominalizations slow down your sentences. Try to have fewer nouns in your sentences, or to replace them with adjectives or verbs. 

You wrote:

It is fair that beneficiaries of natural resources bear environment cost when developers take advantages of natural resource to earn returns for their investments.

It’s 24 words long, which is about the maximum I recommend for a sentence in IELTS. But it has at least 10 nouns or noun phrases. That’s too many in one sentence. You are using some adjectives in the noun form rather than adjective form (e.g. ‘environment’ where you should have ‘environmental.’). You also could use simpler words or replace nouns with verbs.  You also leave out many articles in your sentences, and this makes the essay very terse, or telegraphic and dense.

Here’s another, with five nouns or noun phrases:

Of course, overwhelming developers are companies and private individuals who are engaging in various sectors and using natural resources.

Here’s another, with eight nouns or noun phrases.

Environment cost is one item of whole operation costs, which is widely accepted by accounting principles and economic regulations in the world.

Here’s another:

In conclusion, we should follow benefit approach to judge who is debtor of compensating environmental exploration.

Grammar teachers might disagree with me about the exact definition of the term noun or noun phrase, but the effect in your sentences is that a lot of nouns or words that look like nouns make your writing heavy and dense and hard work.

Ideas

You don't have that many ideas in the body. There is quite a lot of repetition. Here's a rewrite of your essay with most of your ideas and structure, but it only has 226 words.

Most economic development has an effect on the natural environment. In my opinion, the people who benefit from economic progress should pay for the cleanup, whether they are governments, companies, or private individuals. In this essay, I will explain why each of us needs to take responsibility for maintaining our environment.

If developers make money from using a natural resource, then it is only fair that they should pay. It doesn’t matter whether they are private companies, public businesses or government itself.  What is important is that they should commit to safeguarding the environment. The cost to the environment must be reflected in the company or organization’s operation costs, and this is being widely accepted by accounting principles worldwide.

The bulk of development in most countries is by private or public companies. However, in many countries some large mining or development companies are operated by state-owned organizations. These have perhaps an even greater responsibility to protect the environment and natural resources for their shareholders and taxpayers. Governments need to set a clear example of sustainable, responsible development.

In conclusion we need to understand the real cost of economic progress. The price we pay for a product must reflect its environmental cost, and the individuals, companies and organizations must act to see that short-term profits for a few do not mean a poorer planet for us all.  

July 16, 2012
6:22 pm
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I think the author acquire large vocabulary.

And he/she answers the question not only the topic.

I also wrote an essay with the same topic, but it seems that I don't answer the question.

Could someone give me any ideas? Thanks.

 

Individuals and factories produce millions of tons of pollution everyday, from waste water to carbon dioxide. Who should take the responsibility for the cleanupon? I personally believe a joint effort should be taken to tackle environmental pollution by individuals, private companies and the government.

The government is essential for environment protection since it has enough funding and power to deal with contamination. Firstly, the government should invest in recycle research. More specifically, researching products can be used recycle or re-used. For instance, many companies can utilize discarded automobile engines to produce new engines thought advanced technology. For on thing, this can largely reduce pollution, such as CO2 and NOX emissions. For another, it can save a large amount of energy and material resource. In addition, the government can better the existing environmental laws to protect environment. In many countries, factories that fail to meet the environmental regulations or laws cannot be built. By doing this, less pollution can be generated so that it is less difficult for the government to deal with the pollution.

Reaching the conclusion that the government play a significant role in environmental protection is not the same assuming that individuals and private companies can avoid the responsibility to tackle environmental problem. (Is this sentence too long? Which one is better when comparing to " Individuals and private companies cannot avoid the responsibility to tackle environmental problem") In fact, individual group are also important for environmental protection. Initially, people should live a simple life by consuming less goods. Consequently, less goods produced leads to less pollution. Secondly, companies should be responsible to handle the contamination they have produced. This will force them to find a more environmentally friendly way to manufacture their products. As a result, their pollution will reduce.

In conclusion, the government, individual and and companies play a significant role in environmental protection. If all of them take effective measures to deal with contaminant, we will have a beautiful world with blue sky and clean water.

July 16, 2012
10:53 pm
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Allen,

apparently, ur essay is off the topic. you should discuss "whose responsibility" ,not "how to do". besides, i personally feel there are some grammatical mistakes and i revised them which are marked in yellow.

allen said

The government is essential for environment protection since it has enough funding and power to deal with contamination. Firstly, the government should invest in recycle research. More specifically, researching (developing) products (which/that)can be used recycle or re-used( verb.. i think it is grammatical mistake, it is not a sentense). For instance, many companies can utilize discarded automobile engines to produce new engines thought advanced technology. For one thing, this can largely reduce pollution, such as CO2 and NOX emissions( no, i think re-producing is also leading to resource consumption). For another, it can save a large amount of energy and material resource. In addition, the government can better the existing environmental laws to protect environment. In many countries, factories that fail to meet the environmental regulations or laws cannot be built. By doing this, less pollution can be generated so that it is less difficult for the government to deal with the pollution.

July 16, 2012
11:09 pm
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thanks admin and allen.

Admin:

i have read your similar comments about "nominalization" several times. i really want to improve that, but i don't know how to replace a noun or a phrase with a verb or adjective. i think it is a kind of grammatical technique. can you give me some more precise guidances on that problem. i need a practical way to correct it. what method should i use to overcome that problem? i would like to read your comments and instructions, which are valuable for me. (i don't want to leave you a bad impression like a people who refuse correct his/her mistakes)    thanks again!

July 18, 2012
2:25 pm
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Thanxxxxxx for your really good advice.

I think Enda’s suggestion is very good. I'm afraid I can hardly give you some better advice.

July 18, 2012
2:57 pm
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Hi Ma-Frank

You asked how we can reduce the number of nouns in a sentence, or how to reduce nominalizations.

Change nouns to verbs. Change some words to adjectives or adverbs. Shorten and remove unnecessary words.

Here's an example

  1. The commencement of the ceremony will be at noon →  The ceremony will commence at noon.
  2. Any economic development must have experienced exploration of natural environment. → Exploring and exploiting our environment has led to great economic progress.
  3. It is fair that beneficiaries of natural resources bear environment cost when developers take advantages of natural resource to earn returns for their investments. → People who benefit should pay.
  4. There was considerable erosion of the land from the floods. → The floods eroded the land
  5. Our discussion concerned a tax cut. → We discussed tax cuts.
  6. The instability of the political situation did not preclude the completion of the military exercises.→ The military exercises went ahead despite the unstable political situtation.
  7. The primary focus of this workshop is recent developments in the implementation of safety training. → This workshop focuses on recent developments in introducing safety training. OR  This workshop looks at how safety training can be implemented.
  8. We are unable to provide you with access to computerized laboratories in view of the fact that you are not in possession of personal identification. → We cannot give you access to the labs without ID.   OR Without ID, you cannot access the labs.

Just look at every noun and see if you really need it.

July 21, 2012
4:36 pm
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writefix said

Hi Ma-Frank

You asked how we can reduce the number of nouns in a sentence, or how to reduce nominalizations.

Change nouns to verbs. Change some words to adjectives or adverbs. Shorten and remove unnecessary words.

Here's an example

  1. The commencement of the ceremony will be at noon →  The ceremony will commence at noon.
  2. Any economic development must have experienced exploration of natural environment. → Exploring and exploiting our environment has led to great economic progress.

i think prior and after change, you also change the sentense's meaning

thanks admin

July 22, 2012
6:15 pm
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Hi Ma-Frank

I didn't understand your opening sentence

Any economic development must have experienced exploration of natural environment.

so yes, I may have changed its meaning. People can experience or countries can experience, but development cannot experience. 

  • Greece is experiencing unprecedented social unrest following cuts to wages and welfare programs.
     
  • J.K. Rowling experienced numerous rejections and setbacks before she became one of the world's best selling authors.

Try to make sure that the opening sentence for your essay is absolutely crystal clear and error free. First impressions count!

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