Hi Tommy - thanks again for all your work with Emkoxinh!
nice and clear with two sides. It might be stronger with a thesis sentence which made it even clearer what you were going to do in your essay
- Choosing suitable methods to educate children seems to be a challenge task for many countries.→ challenge OR a challenging task
- Junior children will be less likely to receive assistants → assistance
You have a simple topic sentence here. Nice use of modals (‘might lead,’ ‘might believe’) at the end of the para.
Your topic sentence here is a bit too long and wordy:
On the other hand, it is also understandable that allocating smart children into specialized classes can bring several positive outcomes to the societies. (23 words)
This possible rewrite is shorter AND outlines some of the ideas of the paragraph
On the other hand, having special classes for smarter children can be good for the children and for the country. (20 words)
The last idea in paragraph three is a bit repetitive - the last two sentences don’t really say anything new. Have you thought of any further reasons for separating students based on ability since you wrote this essay?
More specifically, basic classes should be used to educate children with intermediate skills whereas the intelligent ones can attend more advanced classes to maximize their potential.
The word ‘ones’ here should mean classes but after reading the sentence we see you mean students. The sentence could be rewritten as
More specifically, basic classes should be used to educate children with intermediate skills whereas advanced classes would help more able students to maximize their potential.
Overall, another carefully-written essay. Make sure you have enough ideas before starting off. You don't have any disadvantages for having advanced and weaker students together. Think about using thesis sentences in the intro. The conclusion is a bit vague - you could add a little more information in the body (maybe discuss how it is good for countries) and summarize it here in more length.