Hi Lazer505 and welcome to Writefix. I hope you can help out some other people in the forum here.
Just a couple of quick points
Tired old phrases and cliches
As much debated issue these days is whether eat at home or restaurants
No, it's NOT a much-debated issue! I have never debated it with anyone. Most people haven't sat around and said "Is eating out better than eating at home?" I'm fairly sure you have never had a discussion in class about whether eating at home is better than having a Big Mac or a falafel sandwich.
Avoid phrases like:
- a hotly-contested issue
- a hotly-debated issue
- a controversial issue (especially 'recently')
- contentious issue
- the pros outweigh the cons
- the cons outweigh the pros
- weigh up the pros and cons (any sentence with "pros and cons" or "outweigh")
- in a nutshell
- to pen down (or up)
- a double-edged sword
- a rat race
- No-one can deny that
- It is recently noted that
- I agree with this statement
- I will give my opinion
- I am in favor of this for many reasons
- I am against this for many reasons
- There are two sides to this issue
- I am agree with this statement
- I am agree with the statement that "Eating in restaurant better than eat at home"
No IELTS examiner ever wants to see these phrases again. Ever.
So what can I write?
- You could say what some people do, and what some other people do "Some people love fast-food like McDonalds or eating in college cafeterias. Others prefer..."
- You could ask a question: "Why do so many people enjoy eating in restaurants? Is it because..."
- You could talk about the past and the present: "In the past, most people ate at home. Today, however, many people enjoy eating out."
- See more examples of introductions here.
Your essay gets much better with your good thesis sentence. You wrote:
For my part, I agree with those who state eat at food stands or restaurants for many reasons such as that would safe the time, it is delicious, and we do not have to clean after finishing the meal.
You gave your opinion and you gave us an overview of some of the main points (one side only, though). Some small changes:
For my part, I agree with eating at food stands or restaurants because it saves times, it's delicious, and we don't have to clean up after finishing the meal.
Topic Sentence: Paragraph 2
In Paragraph 2, you wrote a topic sentence but you didn't get it quite right.
Some people in favor of that eat at the restaurants for many aspects.
Why not just say it in your own words? What does 'that' mean? Forget about 'the statement' or 'agree' or 'in favour' - just say what you want to say.
- People eat in restaurants for many reasons. OR
- Some people love eating in restaurants. OR
- I love eating in restaurants.
- I will tell you why I love eating out. OR
Topic Sentence: Paragraph 3
In Paragraph Three, your topic sentence is good, but it only deals with one problem - the cost. You wrote
On the other hand, eating at restaurant going to waste their money.
In the rest of Paragraph Three you write about money and then about disease. So, your topic sentence above should change to something like
On the other hand, eating at restaurants wastes money and can be unhealthy.
Now the topic sentence tells the reader everything that will be in your paragraph.
Your conclusion is good. It's well organized and gives both sides. I would change the last sentence (I hate the word 'con' and the word 'pro')
I prefer to eat at restaurant how ever the cons is.
Just say why you eat at restaurants - in different words, if you can. Summarize (give the main points of) your essay:
I prefer to eat at restaurants because I don't have much time and I love the taste. Now, if you will excuse me, I am going to have some KFC.
OK, you don't need the last part, but the important thing is to write, without trying to remember 'IELTS' phrases. You will be fine!