Hi Vickyqiu310 and thanks for this essay.
A big thanks to Victor for his comments.
I really like Vickyqiu310's essay. It's easy to read and the word choice is generally good. I like the word 'detours'!
Victor raised an interesting point. When an essay is one side/other side, how can you avoid just repeating your one-side points from a different perspective?
When you write Paragraph Three, it's not necessary to deal with every idea/problem/advantage that you mention in Paragraph Two.
As it happens, I don't think Vickqiu310 did this - I thought the essay generally avoided this problem. I really liked what she said about being able to avoid wasting time on detours if you have a teacher, and how good teachers should encourage critical thinking. So I think the essay is quite successful.
But it's a great point Victor and many weaker writers often just make Paragraph Three a mirror image of Paragraph Two. Thanks for reminding us about this mistake.
I put Vickqiu310's essay in my favorite new toy, textalyser.net, and found this:
So in fact Vickqiu310 used the word 'strategy' three times and 'strategies' once. Maybe it's a useful reminder to us to vary our vocab more! Other words instead of strategy could be 'approach' or 'method' or 'tactic.'
(In Microsoft Word in English, click on a word and press Shift F7 to get a thesaurus)
Thanks Vickyqiu310 and thanks Victor!