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Do young adults need teachers?
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July 28, 2012
5:03 pm
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Some people think adults should learn practical skills by themselves, while others think they should learn from teachers.Discuss both views and give your own opinion.


In the contemporary society, young adults must have the abilities of integrating theories into practices, so that they can survive in the competitive society. There is a debate that young adults should learn this skill by themselves or through teachers’ help. In my point of view, both methods have their pros and cons, but guiding by teachers in the early age would be a better idea for further development.

Self learning is an important strategy in the growing process. Young people need to be able to study by themselves and develop critical thinking skills. Also, they can be more observant and be an independent decision maker in their practices, as they learn from their previous mistakes. However, not many young adults are mature enough to have sound self-control ability, neither they would identify their mistakes immediately. Therefore, it may not be a ideal strategy for young adults to learn practical skills by themselves.

Learning practical skills under teachers’ supervision could compensate the shortage when youngsters learning alone. Teachers can immediately identify the mistakes that students made and direct them back on the right track. Therefore, students can avoid unnecessary detours. Furthermore, it would not affect students’ critical thinking skills. Because good teachers will always encourage students to think independently and induce their potentials. In this case, young adults would benefit from teachers.

In conclusion, encouraging youngsters to learn independently is one of the strategies to learn practical skills. But receiving guidance from teachers is a better strategy for students to learn in their early ages. 

August 3, 2012
4:56 pm
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Hi Vicky,

I am also an English learner, as a consequence, there may be some mistakes in my comment on your essay.

 

The first thing I want to point out is since you have a wide range of vocabulary (e.g. observant , compensate, detours, )-------they are strange for me, why did you reuse the word ”strategy” so many times, you have many alternatives, like approach, method, way, means.

And it seems that you just repeat the arguments from paragraph 2 in the third one, although you analyzed them from opposite views. I do not know whether it is a good approach to response the question. Maybe we should consult somebody else.

 

You did well in grammar, at least, I cannot find any mistakes.

Welcome to my essays, you can find many errors.

 

Best regards.

August 3, 2012
9:38 pm
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writefix
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Hi Vickyqiu310 and thanks for this essay.

A big thanks to Victor for his comments. 

I really like Vickyqiu310's essay. It's easy to read and the word choice is generally good. I like the word 'detours'!

Victor raised an interesting point. When an essay is one side/other side, how can you avoid just repeating your one-side points from a different perspective? 

When you write Paragraph Three, it's not necessary to deal with every idea/problem/advantage that you mention in Paragraph Two.

As it happens, I don't think Vickqiu310 did this -  I thought the essay generally avoided this problem. I really liked what she said about being able to avoid wasting time on detours if you have a teacher, and how good teachers should encourage critical thinking. So I think the essay is quite successful.

But it's a great point Victor and many weaker writers often just make Paragraph Three a mirror image of Paragraph Two. Thanks for reminding us about this mistake.

Textalyser.net

I put Vickqiu310's essay in my favorite new toy, textalyser.net, and found this:

Word: Occurrences
learn: 6
young: 6
teachers: 5
adults: 5
skills: 5
students: 4
themselves: 3
strategy: 3
mistakes: 3
practical: 3

So in fact Vickqiu310 used the word 'strategy' three times and 'strategies' once. Maybe it's a useful reminder to us to vary our vocab more!  Other words instead of strategy could be 'approach' or 'method' or 'tactic.'  

(In Microsoft Word in English, click on a word and press Shift F7 to get a thesaurus)

Thanks Vickyqiu310 and thanks Victor!

August 3, 2012
10:17 pm
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thanks for your essay, Vickyqiu310,

and your reply, Mr Writefix. it help me walk out the confusion.

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