Hi ‘Essays’

Thanks for this essay

Word Choice/Word Form/Usage

1. now a days → nowadays
    
2. There are ample evidences of computer viruses, hackers and crimes. → There is ample evidence of computer viruses, hackers and crime.
3. But, I disagree with the view that modern payment will completely grasp the value of traditional money and metal coins. → However, I don’t believe that modern payment methods will take over completely from traditional banknotes and coins.  (Don’t start sentences with ‘And,’ ‘But,’ ‘Because,’ ‘For,’ ‘Since,’ or ‘So.’)

You’ve overused the phrase ‘modern monetary exchange’ or ‘monetary exchange’ -  try to think of simpler alternatives – notes, banknotes, cash, currency, coins, money,  conventional money, etc.

You wrote:

 Thus, traditional monetary system has a cultural, historical and social background that are impossible to change.

Here’s one possible rewrite:

Conventional money has a cultural, historical and social background that is impossible to change.

Nouns and Nominalizations

Secondly, the security features of credit cards and online method of monetary exchange give authorities the capability of tracing the use of the cards.

There are a lot of nouns in this sentence - 10 or 12, by some counts. Nouns or nominalizations slow down your sentences. Try to have fewer nouns in your sentences, or to replace them with adjectives or verbs.  The solitary verb above also has an agreement problem.

Here’s one possible rewrite with fewer nouns:

Secondly, it’s easy for credit card companies to trace when cards are misused.

Good writing goes forward: Avoid 'latter' and 'former'

You wrote:

However, the entire replacement of traditional paying method by credit cards is only theoretical as the later can not change the certain aspects of the paper money and coins.

Don’t make the reader go back to the previous sentence or paragraph to find out which is ‘latter’ and which is ‘former.’ Keep your writing going forwards -  avoid unclear or confusing pronoun references.

Here’s one possible rewrite:

However, the replacement of traditional method of payment by credit cards is not a practical idea. Coins and backnotes will rattle in our pockets for a long time to come.