Welcome!

In the forum on this page you can see IELTS essays by people just like you. Hundreds of people added essays and comments and helped each other to get a great IELTS essay score! Have a look at their amazing writing!

Please note: This forum is closed!

closed

Sorry! However, please enjoy the hundreds of essays and thousands of comments still available here. A HUGE thanks to all the writers who commented and to all the visitors. We hope we've made IELTS writing less scary.

Popular Tags

Click the links below to see essays on that topic.

art business communication children crime culture economy education environment families food freedom globalization
health heritage  leisure media politics science society sports television travel technology transport university violence work

Avatar

Lost password?
Advanced Search

— Forum Scope —




— Match —





— Forum Options —





Minimum search word length is 3 characters - maximum search word length is 84 characters

sp_Feed Topic RSS sp_Related Related Topics sp_TopicIcon
Would stricter punishment for traffic violations mean safer roads?
Topic Rating: 0 Topic Rating: 0 Topic Rating: 0 Topic Rating: 0 Topic Rating: 0 Topic Rating: 0 (0 votes) 
July 10, 2012
6:43 pm
Avatar
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 15
Member Since:
June 25, 2012
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

The only way to increase safety on the road is to make the punishments stricter. To what extent you agree or disagree?

 

The accidents on road and the road safety are one of the widely discussed issues nowadays. Some say that making the punishment strict will increase the road safety. I don’t agree completely with the idea that stricter punishments will increase safety on the road. There are other factors that can improve road safety.

Firstly, some people breach the traffic rule because they do not have the required traffic knowledge. In my country, there are large numbers of school drop outs who are working as driver of public vehicles. Their irresponsible and uncontrolled driving habit creates the risk for other person on the road. If proper training is given to then, road accidents can be decreased significantly. So, proper awareness can increase the road safety by certain level.

Secondly, large numbers of accidents occur because of the unavailability of proper infrastructures. Most of the roads on which the vehicles ride every day are not suitable for driving which also increases the chance of accidents. Moreover, the absence of overhead bridge for pedestrians makes the roads intersections crowded which also increase the probability of accidents. If necessary infrastructures are built, road accidents can be reduced.

At last, increasing number of vehicles also increase the number of accidents. Increasing numbers of private cars and bikes on the limited stretch of road increase traffic jams and accidents. The road safety can be increased if public vehicles are promoted.

In conclusion, punishing for the breach of traffic rule can control the safety on the road but it works for only short term. For sustainable improvement of road safety, public awareness, suitable infrastructures and promotion of public vehicle are necessary.

July 13, 2012
2:13 pm
Avatar
writefix
Guest
Guests

Hi Ramesh

This essay is nice and simple and clear. I really like the clear easy-to-read style. Well done!

The layout is clear and the ideas are developed. Ninety percent of your errors now are in one area only -  articles and plurals. You need to sit down and just work out 'the' and plurals. Plurals are often used in English -  they seem to be simpler and to avoid the need for articles. They also avoid the need for he and she.

Some words, of course, don't have plurals - infrastructure, information, research. Don't add 's'!

So have a look at the articles/plurals below and see if you can work on them. Otherwise, great work and well done!

Word Choice/Word Form/Usage

  • large numbers of accidents occur because of the unavailability of proper infrastructures.→ large numbers of accidents occur because of the lack of proper infrastructure.  
  • At last → Finally

Shorten/Simplify

Try to eliminate words which do not contribute much to your sentences. You wrote:

Most of the roads on which the vehicles ride every day are not suitable for driving which also increases the chance of accidents. (23 words)

Here’s one possible rewrite with fewer words but more specific examples:

Many roads are unsafe due to overcrowding, poor construction or maintenance, increasing the chance of accidents. (16 words)

Articles/Plurals

  • some people breach the traffic rule → some people breach traffic rules
  • making the punishment strict will increase the road safety.  → making punishments stricter will increase road safety.
  • The accidents on road and the road safety  → Road accidents and road safety are
  • the absence of overhead bridge  → the absence of overhead bridges
  • who are working as driver of public vehicles → who are working as drivers of public vehicles   OR who are working as bus or taxi drivers
  • Their irresponsible and uncontrolled driving habit creates the risk for other person on the road. → Their irresponsible and uncontrolled driving habits creates risks for other persons on the road.   OR Their irrresponsible and uncontrolled driving endangers other road users.
  • the unavailability of proper infrastructures. → the unavailability of proper infrastructure.  (Infrastructure, like ‘equipment’ or ‘research’ or ‘information,’ is non-count)
  • If necessary infrastructures are built → If the necessary infrastructure is built
  • So, proper awareness can increase the road safety by certain level. → So, proper awareness can increase road safety by a certain level.
  • Increasing number of vehicles also increase the number of accidents → Increasing the number of vehicles also increases the number of accidents   OR    An increase in the number of vehicles also means an increase in the number of accidents
  • it works for only short term → it works only for the short term.
  • promotion of public vehicle are necessary  → promotion of public transport is necessary
July 18, 2012
11:08 pm
Avatar
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 15
Member Since:
June 25, 2012
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Hi Writefix

 

Thank you for your valuable comments. The above topic was for IELTS task 2 that I attended last week. I tried to remember what I wrote during my exam and uploaded here without any corrections.

 

The mistakes in article and plural have been my problem since long. I can identify some of them in second reading but there is not always second chance. So would you suggest any reading for improvement in article and plural.

 

Regards

 

Ramesh789

July 20, 2012
1:05 pm
Avatar
writefix
Guest
Guests

Hi Ramesh

It should be easy to fix - it just means finding the right chapter in a regular grammar book. It's a problem from first language interference and from a personal style that emphasises content and short, telegraphic communication. It can come across in speaking as being too blunt, so you should check that you add articles in speaking as well.

Have a look at this Google search for articles quiz online. You will probably find a lot of them too easy, but aim for 100% accuracy. Look for intermediate, difficult or advanced quizzes like this one: http://a4esl.org/q/h/9901/cw-articles.html

Good luck! It's an easy problem to fix. Remember, words are free -  you don't have to pay, so don't leave any out!

July 20, 2012
10:23 pm
Avatar
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 32
Member Since:
July 13, 2012
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Word Choice/Word Form/Usage

  • large numbers of accidents occur because of the unavailability of proper infrastructures.→ large numbers of accidents occur because of the lack of proper infrastructure.

 

Should it be "a large number of accidents" or "large numbers of accidents" ?

which one is more acceptable in writing?

July 21, 2012
2:44 am
Avatar
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 90
Member Since:
March 7, 2012
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Hi rshdwork,

Some common noun phrases  are:

 

a wide range/variety of  vocabularies

a large number of accidents

a small proportion of patients

To more know:

 

a lot of/lots of/ plenty of are used with BOTH countable and uncountable nouns.

A large amount of/ a great deal of are used with uncountable nouns: Example:  There's a large amount of work to be done on this project.

A large number of/ the large majority of/ the majority of are used with such as 'people' students' investors'

The majority of investors are intersted in low-risk opportunities.

 

uncountable: a lot of/ lots of/plenty of / a large amount of/ a great deal of

countable:a lot of/ lots of/plenty of / a large number of/ the majority of

** a lot of/ lots of/ plenty of are generally used in informal situation while a large number of/ a great deal of are used in more formal situation.**

July 22, 2012
7:00 pm
Avatar
writefix
Guest
Guests

Hi Rshdwork

You asked: 

Should it be "a large number of accidents" or "large numbers of accidents" ?

Why not say 'many'?

a large number of accidents occur as a result of OR many accidents occur as a result of

Brian has given some very good examples above -  he's done his research! Thanks Brian!

Here are some more that might be useful: Grammar MonsterBBCWordReference.com

Forum Timezone: Asia/Dubai

Most Users Ever Online: 299

Currently Online:
9 Guest(s)

Currently Browsing this Page:
1 Guest(s)

Member Stats:

Guest Posters: 1

Members: 172

Moderators: 1

Admins: 2

Forum Stats:

Groups: 1

Forums: 3

Topics: 545

Posts: 2204

Moderators: Newestadmin: 0

Top
Do NOT follow this link or you will be banned from the site!