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Traditional house or modern apartment?
Topic Rating: 1 Topic Rating: 1 Topic Rating: 1 Topic Rating: 1 Topic Rating: 1 Topic Rating: 1 (1 votes) 
October 19, 2011
9:00 am
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writefix
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Would you prefer to live in a traditional house or in a modern apartment building? Give reasons for your choice.

October 19, 2011
10:34 am
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Nowadays, there are many choices place to live. Some people like living in a traditional house while others prefer to live in a modern apartment building. From my point of view, I like living in a house with my family more than that in an apartment.
 

First of all, a house make me feel free and private. I can talk or have meal with my family members in a dining room or living room happily and freely. But I also be alone  in my room anytime I want. I can design and decorate my house and my room following my style. For instance, I can show many pictures of my idols, paint wall by my favourite colors and especially play music louder that don't make me worried someone will explain.

  In the second, there're many rooms in my house. I like the most garden and pool. I can plant many flowers and trees. Every morning, I wake up early, do the morning excerise in the garden and water flowers and trees. That's wonderfull, air is very fresh. I can't find it in a modern apartment.
   However, there are some disadvantages in a house. For instance, It's far from my working place, spend much time doing housework tasks,...

   In conclusion, There are many benefits in a modern apartment building and some disadvantages in a traditional house, I would prefer to live in a house.

October 19, 2011
11:06 am
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Hi Haisungkhon! Welcome to Writefix!

 

Thanks for your essay. I like your description of the garden and your daily activity of watering and doing exercise there!

Your essay is 233 words long, which is almost enough for Task 1 IELTS (you would lose a half a band or even more if you write fewer than 240 words), but I notice you haven't finished Paragraph 3 yet.

You have two ideas for Para 3 but you have put them in one sentence, instead of developing them:

However, there are some disadvantages in a house. For instance, It's far from my working place, spend much time doing housework tasks,…

However there are some disadvantages in a house. For instance there are not many houses near where I work. My job is in the city center, and most people in the city center live in apartments. Houses are too expensive there. Second, living in a house means that you have to spend a lot of time doing household tasks. Apartments are much easier to clean and maintain. Finally,…  

 

A couple of minor points

  • I like living in a house with my family more than that in an apartment.
  • paint wall by with/in my favourite colors
  • I like the most garden and pool the most
  • In conclusion, although there are many benefits in a modern apartment building and some disadvantages in a traditional house, I would prefer to live in a house.
October 19, 2011
3:11 pm
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Thanks for your comment ,Writefix ! I will repair my essay .

October 25, 2011
4:31 pm
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pakistan
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October 18, 2011
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Would you prefer to live in a traditional house or in a modern apartment building? Give reasons for your choice.

For a man it matters a lot to live in the most satisfactory place no matter it is a muddy hut or an extravagant bungalow .I believe to certain extent that traditional home is a better choice than living in an apartment building.

First of all , traditional living builds long term relations and understanding. For example in the big apartments it is uncertain who is living next door as people shift regularly from one place to another. To comment more, it is urban living style , where people select the location based on the nearness to the office to avoid transport cost and to reduce time.

After that , it is also observed that apartments are insecure .for example in the developing countries such apartments lack basic facilities like security cameras , guards and proper entry and exit system . it increases the crime rate and more easiness to hit and run.

However, some critics believe that traditional houses are not suitable for big urban cities. For example in the cities like Mumbai or Karachi where space is limited ,it is difficult to get space for house and even it is available it is beyond the budget of average income persons. While ,it is easy to live in an apartment and pay the monthly rent.

To conclude, it is personal choice, economic and financial matter ,it depends on individuals either they select the first or second pattern of living , though the facts support the traditional living style on the grounds of socialization and safety.

October 27, 2011
6:20 am
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Hi Zakir and welcome to Writefix!

Connecting Phrases

Sometimes these phrases don't seem natural. Don't add them to your essay just because they seem to make your writing more academic!

  • To comment more,
  • it is also observed that
  • some critics believe
  • After that,

What would happen if you left them out? Nothing!

Commas

Be careful with commas. Don't use them to join sentences.

Zakir wrote:

To conclude, it is personal choice, economic and financial matter ,it depends on individuals either they select the first or second pattern of living , though the facts support the traditional living style on the grounds of socialization and safety.

…could be changed to:

To conclude, it is a personal choice. Some people choose to live traditional houses because they are safer and you can know your neighbours. However, there are good economic reasons for living in apartments.

Be especially careful with commas after words like 'that,' 'while,'

While ,it is easy to live in an apartment and pay the monthly rent.

Vocabulary

and more easiness to hit and run.

  • 'Hit and run' is usually used for when a car hits a pedestrian and does not stop, rather than for mugging or when someone's house is burgled
  • Easiness  -  ease, liability, vulnerability, likelihood
November 2, 2011
3:05 pm
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pakistan
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thanks 🙂

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