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Are there too many images of disasters and violence in the media (2)?
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March 5, 2012
8:23 am
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It is irrefutable that media reflects the picture of society and all the happenings around us . It is true that media highlight more news about calamities and violence. In this essay I shall discuss the causes and some of their possible solutions.

 

The principal reason why media shows pictures and news about fatalities and catastrophe are,firstly, bad news always  attracts more  viewers. Large number of audience and spectators are guaranteed  for the success and properity of that channel.Secondly,  increasing terrorism and environmental changes resulting in disasters provide  breaking news ,for instance,tsunamis, earth quake,bomb blast or  unjudicial killing of innocent citizen. A rat race to catch latest news and present it in a way to get attention of more viewrs often results in distortion of facts. Another important point is that some of the facts are  being exaggerated to make the story interesting and more attractive . However, projection of ferocity and barbarism has immuned the society. Most of the news  and reports of  geohazards and violence are just ignored and unheard by most of the people.

 

There are , however, several  measures could be taken up by the responsible authorities . Foremost is to improve legislation about media including what to broadcast and how much is allowed to show on media. Astringent censorship policy would definitely help to reduce the misery and violent actions  from  news. Also emphsising  and allowing more air time for entertainment and motivational programmes and shows  will help to reduce  anxiety of already  stressed and  dismal  people. Most of those persons would enjoy these shows rather than watching  scary and  frightening news and  images.

 

In conclusion , trend of media towards showing more ferocity and savagery should be discouraged . Simple measures are required by the authorities to transform the situation .

March 5, 2012
8:43 am
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Hi Nahed -  thanks for your essay.

I'm going to break a record for the fastest reply!

It's OK to post under another person's topic -  Alison already started this topic with an essay, so it would be fine for you to post under her topic. Also, please feel free to comment on what she wrote or on anyone else's essays!

Before I comment on this essay, please have a look at some of the points on your previous essay on violence in TV

The main suggestions which would also apply to this essay are

simplify vocabulary -  remove complicated words and use simple ones e.g. irrefutable - clear; unjudicial - illegal; projection of ferocity and barbarism have immuned the society -  people have become immune to ferocity and barbarism; dismal - depressed/sad; geohazards - disasters

articles -  there are about 12 cases where you need to add or remove articles (a, an, the)

shorten sentences - some sentences are over 25 words long and your average sentence length is over 17. Try to have more short sentences, and try to have a mix of long and short - not all the same length.

punctuation - use Microsoft Word and fix all the problems it identifies with red and green underlines before posting. Leave one space AFTER commas, full stops and words - not before. Punctuation IS important in IELTS - see the official descriptors under the heading "Grammatical Range and Accuracy." Imagine making an appointment with a well-known surgeon, but noticing on meeting him that his fingernails were dirty. A minor point, or a health issue?

 

What I would like you to do is to resubmit the essay after looking at the comments above and in your previous essay. Just post the revised essay as a reply here and I will comment in greater detail.

 

[Update: Naheed's new edited essay can be found here]

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