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Are academic qualifications becoming less valuable?
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November 21, 2011
4:13 am
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November 20, 2011
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Are academic qualifications becoming devalued, now that more and more people have degrees? Is a primary degree such as a Bachelor's degree enough in today's workplace?

It is true that to survive in this competitive world students have to learn multiple subjects at the same time. I agree that this is the tough situation but it does not mean that it devalues the education

This is the world of science and technology. Traditional ways of working is replaced by new methods. For example, every department is being computerised, railways  ,hospitals, airports ,etc…Also new strategies are being introduced in the world of business .No one can cope with the demands of the practical life without getting higher education. More over globalisation has affected all types of professions. With increase in the awareness and communication, the competition for good jobs has increased a lot. So to survive in this world the importance of higher education and multiple skills has increased a lot.

Moreover, today the world economy is knowledge based. Those who get more knowledge would have better job opportunities. Many companies employ people with better qualifications. The employers prefer to hire those people  who have knowledge of more than one skill, and they offer them good salaries. So to cope with the changing demands of the practical world students have to take more certificates from universities. Nevertheless some job sectors do need skilled workers like information technology and engineering. To get a head in the professions like this one should have better knowledge.

For the reasons mentioned above, I believe that, although these situations have developed a competitive environment among students, it has increased the importance of qualification.

November 21, 2011
7:29 am
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Hi Jawiria and welcome to Writefix!

I just want to have a quick look at your organization. Your sentences were clear and your choice of vocab generally very good, but there was a sense of wandering around the topic rather than dealing with it efficiently.

 

Paragraph 2

  • Science and technology have grown ==> new methods and strategies in work.
  • Globalisation has increased ==> there is more competition for jobs. 
  • Therefore, we need more education and skills

Paragraph 3 

  • A knowledge-based economy means companies want people with more than one skill
  • Therefore, people have to study for more than one degree.

I wonder how different some of the ideas in Paragraph 3 are from those in Paragraph 2? Could they be joined up and could the essay be shortened. It doesn't need to be shortened in terms of word length, but perhaps your ideas could be expressed more concisely.

In your conclusion, you summarize two sides (good!) but I wish you had spoken more about competition in one of your paragraphs. Perhaps if Para 2 were about changes in employment, and Para 3 were about competition, your essay would be stronger?

 

Usage and vocab

 A couple of small points

  1. I would remove "Nevertheless" in Para 3 - it means that one thing happens despite another thing, whereas you used it to mean more of the same thing.
  2. a head ==> ahead
  3. In the introduction, does the phrase "It it true that" add anything?
  4. Make sure punctuation goes IMMEDIATELY AFTER the word. Like this, not like this  .

Thanks for your essay and I hope you can help other people here by commenting and making suggestions on their essays. 

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