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Is damage to the environment inevitable because of better standards of living?
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December 24, 2011
1:04 am
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Damage to the environment is an inevitable consequence of the worldwide improvements in the standard of living. Discuss.

 

Nowadays, we live technology age. We are living the development stage in industry, technology and all other aspects . In the last century, scientists  discovered  so many helpful precise inventions which  caused a huge turn in our daily life. One of which, is the computer and all other recent technological gadgets. Although They have their positive influence on our life as a whole,  they induce  new types of pollution, which might cause a crucial harm to the ecosystem. That which we are going to  explain in the following essay.

Generally speaking, environment means our health and our following generations’ health. It’s the atmosphere the air which we breathe, It’s the water which we drink and it’s the vegetables and fruits which we eat. That may identifies the importance of a pure environment to us. Unfortunately, not all people considering the environmental  issue as required. We see this ignorance clear in the huge consumption of the plastic packaging.  When we go to shopping, we return home carrying so many plastic backs, in spite of their undesirable effect on the green . They are undegradable, they do not undergo  biological degradation and stay for a long time as they are and cause pollution.

Moreover, due to our consuming behavior we produce  great amounts of wastes of all and different types,  the majority of them are harmful to the environment, for instance, the computer accessories and its pre - used spare parts when rejected they will never undergo any degradation or decay, but remain as they are.  this accessories may have certain Electromagnetic waves and  other unknown sources of pollution .

In the same time, Nuclear programs which may be introduced either in peaceful purposes or in wars, induce fatal environmental damage for all living. They produce dangerous wastes which we can not get rid of them easily. Those may stay for decades and pollute air, water, and soil. In addition,  industrial cities like Beijing, we can notice  the air pollution with our naked eye due to factory’s fumes and industrial wastes. They form a smog on the horizon hanging over the city. The same for chemicals and fertilizers which are used in agriculture, they induce not only water contamination, but  soil and plants pollution as well.

Finally, We harm ourselves with the unawareness and  neglection behavior which we pay concerning the environmental issue.  We scarify our health and the following generations'  health in the expense of  improvement of living standard, the industrial and technological development. It remains to be seen, what the long term impact of this development will be.

January 10, 2012
5:04 pm
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Hi Alia

 

This is a long essay –  425 words, with an dangerously high average of 17.7 words per sentence (I recommend an average of 12 words per sentence). (To check essays before posting, visit http://www.read-able.com/%MINIFYHTML13ae67eb5e84014ee0c3a98aeba9015715%

For example, we could tighten up this paragraph:

In the same time, Nuclear programs which may be introduced either in peaceful purposes or in wars, induce fatal environmental damage for all living. They produce dangerous wastes which we can not get rid of them easily. Those may stay for decades and pollute air, water, and soil. In addition,  industrial cities like Beijing, we can notice  the air pollution with our naked eye due to factory’s fumes and industrial wastes. They form a smog on the horizon hanging over the city. The same for chemicals and fertilizers which are used in agriculture, they induce not only water contamination, but  soil and plants pollution as well.

to: 

Nuclear programs produce dangerous wastes which stay for decades, polluting air, water and soil. Factory fumes, coal and traffic create dense smogs over industrial cities such as Beijing. In agriculture, pesticides, growth hormones and fertilizers contaminate the soil, our water and our food.   

 

In general, try to plan your paragraph before you write. Aim for seven sentences in each paragraph in the body: a topic sentence, three ideas, and three examples. See if two sentences can be combined. 

Many of the words we use in daily speech don't add anything to our writing. Have a look at http://grammar.ccc.commnet.edu/grammar/concise.htm:

 

Vigorous writing is concise. A sentence should contain no unnecessary words, a paragraph no unnecessary sentences, for the same reason that a drawing should have no unnecessary lines and a machine no unnecessary parts. This requires not that the writer make all his sentences short, or that he avoid all detail and treat his subjects only in outline, but that every word tell.

— William Strunk Jr.
in Elements of Style

'Tell'  here means to be important, to carry information or weight, to mean something.

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