Hi,
Having read this essay, I think there are some improvements compared to your previous one. However, I'm trying to remove some of your words:
"In my view, each method has its own advantages and the combination of both ways is vital."
--> This sentences should be more specific to the topic.
"Proponents of the former view consider wide general knowledge as a way to enhance students’ productivity in working and let them choose their favourite major. To start with, it is understanding different subjects at university that help students’ performance at job".
--> Proponents of general knowledge believe that understanding different university subjects helps to enhance students' productivity at work.
colleafues-->colleagues
Thanks to being well trained in their field, students can handle different problems well from social communication, and support for other colleafues in their sickness to management. Moreover, students, by viture of learning subjects of different fields, are increasingly aware of their inner interest.
--> Thanks to being well trained in their field, students can handle different social issues such as supporting other colleagues when necessary. Moreover, learning different subjects can also provide more opportunities for students to recognize the inner interests.
Instead of being forced to follow certain jobs demanded, students have the conception of their desire and dream career.
--> I don't understand this sentences, maybe it needs to be clearer in meanings.
I think you last two paragraphs are good. It is clearer and more concise (maybe Mr Writefix will give you more comments on this). Keep up the good work and good luck for your test.