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Is a person's character decided by environment or by genetics?
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January 5, 2012
9:56 pm
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People’s character is influenced by environment rather than genetics. Do you agree or disagree?


A lot of scientists claim that genes and the environment play a significant role in shaping people's character. 

Researches conducted by the leading scientific institutions have showed that some traits of character are inherited but most are acquired during lifetime.

Let's consider cases which clearly demonstrate the link between the environment and character. Almost all people have got individual set of genes except identical twins. Scientists observed about hundred of twins who were raised apart. Thos observations showed that twins really share some traits such as a preference to the same colors or smell, books and films. For example, one of the twin was brought up in the countryside the other in the mega polis. Countryside twin is unflappable, taciturn, withdrawn, hard working. Quite the opposite is the Megapolis twin. He may be described as talkative, open and temperamental. So their essential character is quite differ from each other and most psychologists explained it by the influence of the environment. Twins grew in completely different environments. 

That's why, no doubt that influence of the environment and nurture is more obvious and convincing. For example, parents try to rent or buy home in morally healthy neighborhood far from crime ridden ones in the hope that their children would not be under bad influence. 

By and large, people are closely connected with parents, co-workers, friends, teachers, peers as well as media. They are important factors. Moreover, they may be responsible for forming characters of those who communicate with them in everyday life. 

All these arguments lead the the conclusion that the environment contributes more to shaping an individual's nature than genes. Indeed, the influence of nurturing is so overwhelming and powerful that's why criminologists state criminals are often the result of bad parenting or bad nurturing.

February 26, 2012
8:02 am
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Hello Milaniyamiila

This essay has already been corrected in a few other Internet forums, but here goes anyway!

Introduction

Your introduction sentence is a little general:

A lot of scientists claim that genes and the environment play a significant role in shaping people's character.

What else could shape character, if not genes or the environment? Perhaps it would be better to give both sides in the introduction:

Are people the product of their environments and experiences, or are their characters decided before birth by their genes? 

You don't have a thesis sentence, so I'm not sure from reading the introduction what your essay is going to do. You also haven't given your opinion -  that's optional but it's often safer to give it in the introduction in case your essay doesn't turn out as planned when you are writing it. The official IELTS descriptors for Task 2 stress the importance of a clear position (see under 'Task Response').

The most confusing part of this essay is Paragraph 3. It starts with a good topic sentence:

Let's consider cases which clearly demonstrate the link between the environment and character

But then there are some sentences about identical twins having the same preferences even though raised apart. This would seem to be in favor of genetics. Then the paragraph goes back to the idea of twins who were raised apart having different characters -  one outgoing, one introverted. Would it help if you left out the part about sharing, or reorganized the essay?

Word Choice and Usage, Articles, other grammar points

  • One of the twin ==> One of the twins...
  • Countryside twin is unflappable ==> The country twin was unflappable...
  • All these arguments lead the the conclusion ==> All these arguments lead to the conclusion... 
  • That's why, no doubt that influence of the environment and nurture is more obvious ==> 
  • That is why there is no doubt that the influence of the environment is more obvious (OR)
    Without doubt/Undoubtedly, the influence of the environment is more obvious.
  • Indeed, the influence of nurturing is so overwhelming and powerful that's why criminologists state criminals are often the result of bad parenting or bad nurturing ==> 
  • Indeed, the influence of nurturing is so overwhelming and powerful that criminologists state criminals are often the result of bad parenting or bad nurturing. 

Verb Tense

In paragraph two, you change from present to past back to present. Stay in one tense, if possible.

Paragraphs

Paragraphing: the reason for your paragraphs is not always clear. Perhaps the 4th and 5th should be together.

Conclusion

Be careful not to introduce new material in your conclusion. You finish with the example of criminals and parenting -  this could have been discussed earlier.

All in all, there are some excellent ideas, sentences and vocabulary here, but some reorganization is needed to make your ideas clearer. 

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