In one of your other essays you asked how to reduce the number of nouns or nominalizations in our writing. Having more verbs, adjectives and adverbs is one way to make your writing more dynamic.

Verbs used in your essay

The table shows that you use the verb ‘to be’ a lot. Many of your sentences use the structure “X is Y” or  “A is not B,” sometimes with different tenses.  Paragraph Three uses a greater variety of verbs and is more interesting to read as a result.

Here’s an example of a long sentence with the structure “X is Y”

In conclusion, developing substitutes and using matured new energy technologies are positive and forward-looking attitude to dealwith sustainable survival

We could replace the verb to be (‘are’) with a more dynamic verb or verbs, and remove one or more nouns:

In conclusion, developing substitutes and using new energy technologies can help/allow us cope with our future energy needs   
OR
In conclusion, our future energy needs will require us to find substitutes and use new technologies.

Here’s another “X is Y” sentence.

Therefore, developing new energy is the only correct way to maintain human’s survival.

The sentence is fine, but perhaps as an exercise we can remove the noun ‘way’ and replace ‘is ‘ with another verb.

Therefore, developing new energy can ensure our survival.

Different structures:

• If we fail to develop new energy sources, we endanger our very survival.
• Our survival depends on developing new energy sources
• Continued growth and improved living standards require us to find new energy sources.
• Without new energy sources, we cannot hope to survive.

There’s nothing wrong with “X is Y” sentences – it’s just good to have a lot of alternatives in our toolbox! 

Since last century, fossil fuels has been an indispensable role in human’s development. However, there must be a day in future when fossil fuels is exhausted. Using substitutes, new energies, is a positive and correct way to deal with that problem and ensure our offspring survival.

Actively exploring and using new energy is a preventive means to cope with many problems. First, some new energy can effectively reduce environmental deterioration except for solving oil crisis. For example, new hybrid or battery powered vehicles can reduce emission, which benefits to relieve greenhouse effects. This is a double-win. Secondly, fossil fuels is not a kind of endless resource and human don’t have technologies to reproduce fossil fuels in a short time. It is because fossil fuels is an evolved outcome in millions of years under the ground. In other word, it is natural power, not man made. Therefore, developing new energy is the only correct way to maintain human’s survival.

Exploring new energies cost much more and some applied alternatives are of danger. We should carry a scientific and reasonable way to use new energy instead of pure encouragement. For example, an electricity plant with wind or nuclear energy need times of initial outlay compared with traditional technology although this make people reduce reliance on oil power. More seriously, if not being proper used or without capacity of control, nuclear can lead to fatal disaster to human. Hence, any encouragement should not exceed capability. 

In conclusion, developing substitutes and using matured new energy technologies are positive and forward-looking attitude to deal with sustainable survival. As long as this development is scientific and prudent, using alternative should be encouraged.