Writefix.com Forum - Topic: Signs that you probably WON'T get Band 9 https://staging5.writefix.com/here-forum/questions-and-comments/signs-that-you-probably-wont-get-band-9 Simple:Press Version 5.7.5.3 writefix on Signs that you probably WON'T get Band 9 https://staging5.writefix.com/here-forum/questions-and-comments/signs-that-you-probably-wont-get-band-9#p1611 Questions and Comments https://staging5.writefix.com/here-forum/questions-and-comments/signs-that-you-probably-wont-get-band-9#p1611 This is not entirely serious...
 
Signs that an IELTS candidate will probably NOT get Band 9...
 
  1. Little hearts over every letter 'i' in the essay. 
  2. The words 'Thank you soooooooo much!' at the end of an essay. (If you can add a heart or a smiley face, go for it.) 
  3. Anything 'double-edged' in the essay -  coins, swords - anything.
  4. Using the words 'bad things' to describe, mmmmm, bad things.
  5. A message to the examiner at the bottom of the essay saying "I really needing Band 8  -  this is my fifteenth time for to do this exam."
  6. More than one exclamation mark in the essay!!!
  7. The adjectives 'controversial,' 'heated', or 'intense' anywhere near the word 'debate.'
  8. Complicated instructions to the examiner to continue reading on page 6.  
  9. The same as Number 8, but with arrows. (More marks if you do Task 1 where Task 2 should be, or put the introduction on page 4)
  10. A dramatic stop half-way through the last word to show that the exam room staff ripped the paper from your bony fingers  just as you were about to complete a masterpiece.
  11. A paper that is exactly 240 words long so that the examiner has to count it. Twice.
  12. Moving each line in a little so that by the end of the page there are only four words on a line. 
  13. Just the slightest, most delicate mention of your uncle, the Deputy Minister of Finance, in paragraph three.
  14. Seeing how few full stops you can use. Five is good, three is better.
  15. Dismissive remarks about old people (ie. people over 40, who ideally should all go home and die quietly. Just like IELTS examiners, in fact). 
  16. 300 tearful, reverent words about why you love President X, Sheikh Y or Queen Z. 
  17. Inspirational verbatim quotes from your uncle or high school friend (who changed your life): "Please! Not ever give up!" or "The apple is doctor for the people." (Best in essays about completely unrelated topics, like female circumcision or gay marriage.)
  18. Saying "I am agree with the statement that do you think rich countries should help poor countries."
  19. Saying "I am not agree for this statement." 
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