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This forum (which is now CLOSED, sorry!) contains essays by hundreds of people preparing for the IELTS between 2012 and 2013. They helped each other to become better writers by reading each other's essays and commenting on them.

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Should children learn to compete or cooperate?
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November 24, 2011
9:01 am
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November 17, 2011
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People’s views may vary on whether competition or cooperation plays a more crucial role in the process of children’s growth. I definitely support the statement that it is cooperation rather than competition that help children more in growing into more useful adults.

 

To begin with, cooperation is a must in fulfilling adult tasks high efficiently. Each individual has his or her own strong points as well as drawbacks. If children are cultivated with the quality of cooperation, they will be more willing to work together with others to join their strong points, and then greater achievements can be made. In addition, willing to work with others enables children to blend in the social network quickly and to gain more favorable personal relationships. Children grow up with the recognition of teamwork spirit understand better how to share and get along well with people around them.

 

Of course, it is true that a sense of competition can boost children’s motivation to better themselves. But there involves a risk that children may live in great pressure and tend to resent others, which may hinder their development eventually, both mentally and physically. What is worse, children with a strong sense of competition may become selfish and refuse to help others, which will prevent them to contribute more when they become adults.

 

My view is that despite the role competition may play in children’s growth, cooperation can contribute more in transforming youngsters into more useful adults. Useful adults are those who are willing to devote themselves to the wellbeing of the whole community. Only people with qualities of unselfishness and a sense of sharing can gain this recognition. I think to encourage children to cooperate is the best way to cultivate those qualities.  

November 27, 2011
5:49 pm
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writefix
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Hello Sophia

 

Thanks for this excellent essay. It's clear, simple, short, and well-organized.

A couple of very small points

  • To begin with, cooperation is a must in fulfilling adult tasks highvery efficiently.
  • Children who grow up with the recognitionspirit of teamwork spirit understand better how to share and get along well with people around them.
  • [This] will prevent them to contributefrom contributing more when they become adults.
Thanks again! Perhaps you can help some other people on these forums?
 
November 28, 2011
3:32 pm
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Thanks for your helpful suggestions.

Yes, I would like to help others, I wonder how can I help others, can I also check and comment on others' works?

proof reading is also a kind of learning, right?

December 4, 2011
8:10 am
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writefix
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That would be really great! Yes, proof reading is a kind of learning for both the reader and writer.

 

In fact, that's my hope for this website - that people help each other to learn. Editing means having a fresh set of eyes look at our work. 

 

The most important eyes in this case are those of the reader: it is the writer's job to communicate, not to make it difficult for the reader to interpret. Therefore when another reader looks at our work, it can really help us to improve.

 

Thanks for your suggestion and please feel free to comment on the work of other writers here! We can all learn!

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