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Should dangerous sports be banned?
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December 8, 2011
5:30 pm
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Ha Noi, Vietnam
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Some people think government should ban dangerous sports, others; however, believe that people should have the freedom to do whatever sports they choose. Discuss.

 

Today, an increasing amount of people take part in dangerous sports and some of them have lost their lives in these sports. It is maintained that Government should forbid people playing them, while others think people have a right to involve in sports of their choice. In fact, the issue needs some justifications.

On the one hand, people definitely have their liberties to determine what sports they want to participate. There is the fact that a lot of people by nature feel a need to break through challenges which put them at the edge of human endurance in order to test their resourcefulness to the limit and broaden their horizons. Therefore, if involving in a sport is restricted, adventure-seekers will continue to drive themselves into other life-threatening activities which not yet be banned. Moreover, prohibition of so-called “dangerous sport” is very likely to deprive people of fantastic experiences and thrills of taking part in them. For instance, without mountaineering, people by no means conceive the grandeur of a mountain.

On the other hand, outlawing high risk sports has its own merits in terms of saving life and ensuring equality for taxpayers. That is to say, since indulging in these sports namely free diving, mountaineering might not only injure or threat participants’ lives but also put rescue personnel in thin line between life and death once accidents happen, banning these sports is bound to limit unfortunate mortality rate related to sports. Furthermore, it is unequal for taxpayers when they have to incur cost of rescue and treatment for risk-takers’ misfortune.

To recap, people should have opportunities to play whatever sports of their interests . Besides, governments should give some optional suggestions and instructions in terms of sports safety guidance instead of mandatory.

December 23, 2011
12:43 pm
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writefix
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Hi Linh

 

Thanks for this well-organized essay.

A couple of small points:

Intro

In fact, the issue needs some justifications.

Try make all sentences in your introduction related to the topic by including key vocab or synonyms from the prompt. Don't use sentences which could be used in every single essay regardless of topic

In fact, although people should be free to play whatever sports they choose this essay will explain why we need some controls and safety guidelines.

Usage

People definitely have their liberties   - change to -     people are free to

Para 3:   Unequal - change to -    unfair  

Para 4 (conclusion):   Besides  -  change to -  however

 

I really like these sentences and phrases:

There is the fact that a lot of people by nature feel a need to break through challenges which put them at the edge of human endurance in order to test their resourcefulness to the limit and broaden their horizons. 

 

Without mountaineering, people ...cannot conceive the grandeur of a mountain.cannot conceive of the grandeur of a mountain

 Great work

December 27, 2011
11:13 am
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Ha Noi, Vietnam
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Hi Enda,

Thank you so much when spend your holiday time to comment our essays.

I totally agree with you, these changes make it better ^^

Hope that you enjoy a nice holiday with your family.

Best wishes for all!

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