Hi Sina

I like the last part of your conclusion -

then any job can be improved and more workers can feel greater degree of job satisfaction.

Sina, I have a suggestion to make. In many of your sentences, you use a phrase or structure like these:

• No body can reject…
• To put all the story in a nut shell…
• One reason to be mentioned. ..
• Emphasizing the significant of job satisfaction can be discussed by reasons.
• Although being experienced enough is the most of the companies idea …
• The counter argument how ever is that…

How about rewriting some of these sentences so that they are simpler, say what you want to say and start with the main subject? For example

• Our work has a huge effect on our lives.
• If people like their job and are using their skills,  then…
• A good salary is definitely a motivator.
• Job satisfaction is important for several reasons.
• Most companies hire people who are experienced, but…
• Sometimes money is not enough

You also have two very long sentences. Here's one with 61 words!

One reason to be mentioned is the amount of salary which companies give to employment is intensively impress them to get the success in the jobs and consequently they would be satisfy by the activity that they do so that they can earn money and even they feel upset about their major but maybe they could be happy with the money.

Aim for a mix of long and short sentences, but don't have any sentences longer than 20 words.  Your average sentence length should be about 12 words.

Here's my attempt at a rewrite of your essay, using your ideas. Forgive me if I've misunderstood any.

Our work has a huge effect on our lives. If we are not satisfied with our jobs, we will not be able to work well and our lives will suffer. In this essay, I will describe some factors which influence job satisfaction.

First of all, skill is not the same as experience. Some workers have many years of experience but are still unskilled. Therefore, we need to develop our skills in order to be more efficient and enjoy our work.

Second, people should find jobs they like. If you don’t like working in a particular field, then you will never enjoy your job, however easy it is. However, if you enjoy working in a particular area, even challenges and problems become interesting and enjoyable.

Of course, money can be a big motivator. Many people are happy to do difficult or boring jobs because of good salaries. However, after a certain point, money is no longer a sufficient motivator. If a person is not using all his or her skills or is frustrated at work, financial rewards may not be enough.

Overall, any job can be improved and workers can feel more satisfied, but only if there is a match between rewards and our personal motivation and interest.  

Hello Arryarsh and welcome to Writefix.

Word Length

Your essay is 229 words long (see http://www.Online-Utility.org) which would mean that you would lose marks in IELTS (250 words are required). Whatever you do, however difficult the topic -  write 250 words for Task 2 and 150 in Task 1.

Articles

The most noticeable feature of your essay is that there are very few articles. It is almost telegraphic.  You need to add "the," "a,"  "an," plurals, or a subject throughout the essay. Here are just a few examples…

Employment or a good job is very indispensable for leading life.One reason which motivates employees for giving their best to their present job is job satisfaction.However, if the person is not satisfied , he or she will not be able to give a hundred percent for the productivity of the company.

It is seen that the type of work given by the company plays an important role in satisfaction of job job satisfaction

These things also increases the efficiency of the workers.

 

On the other hand,the candidate employee will feel relaxed, stress-free and happy.

 

A Desirable salary package (to for the candidate) is also a factor which helps in maintaining job satisfaction.

Rewrite the essay with articles and subjects so that it reads more gently. Without those articles, it feels imperious and argumentative, like being barked at by a sergeant on a parade ground.

Organization Markers ('First,' 'second,' 'moreover,' etc):

Be careful with these. Don't add them just because some textbook or teacher said you should.  In some cases they are confusing

Secondly,employees give priority to working conditions and behavior of boss.Moreover,facilities provided by company is returned by worker in form of good work.

Does this sentence give more information about the sentence before it? I don't like the use of 'moreover' here.

On the other hand,candidate feel relaxed stress free and do work happily. Next,employees always expect some rewards such as appreciation mails,bonus,and trophies.It helps in increasing their motivation and determination towards work.Of course,person most people works for salary because he has to complete his family needs.

A lot of your sentences are starting with a short phrase like "Second," "Moreover," "Next," "Of course" (next is good for a description of a process, but not appropriate here). Try to reduce the number of sentences like this. The information in the sentence should make some of these markers unnecessary. Let your sentences flow without these interruptions.

Passives

You don't have too many, so that's good, but I would remove even the ones you have….

It is seen that type of work given by company plays important role in satisfaction of job.

This could be changed to:

The type of work provided by the company also plays an important role in job satisfaction.

Usage

In the  a nutshell,worker feel satisfied if all these requirements are fulfilled by company.

This could be changed to:

In conclusion, workers will feel satisfied if all these requirements are fulfilled by their company.

Of course, setting aside grammar and usage for a moment, the employees are also free to go and find another job: is it really the company's responsibility to meet the worker's 'requirements'??!