You wrote:

 In conclusion, I believe that it is essential to let criminals to work and even teach them some skills. Maybe some lacks such as unemployment or not having an appropirate skills is the reason of committing crimes. If criminals had some skills, they would have different lives.

This is a much clearer conclusion, thanks! Here’s a slightly edited version:

In conclusion, I believe that it is essential to let criminals to work and even teach them some skills. Maybe a disadvantage/deficiency/challenge such as unemployment or a lack of appropriate skills was a reason for their criminal behavior. If criminals had some skills, they might have different lives.

Thanks again for taking the time to rethink your conclusion!

again thank a lot for your great comments.

in regard to your question, I should say the lacks is refer to skill and work. But you are right I have to be enclosed with this essay to explain what they mean.

here is another possible sentence:

In conclusion, I believe that it is essential to let criminals to work and even teach them some skills. Maybe some lacks such as unemployment or not having an appropirate skills is the reason of committing crimes. If criminals had some skills, they would have different lives.

Well, articles are fairly easy - every noun in English needs an article (a or an), unless it's an abstract noun, like happiness or love or unemployment.  Even if the noun has a lot of adjectives, it still needs an article. Have a look at Google search for a/an/the and try these quizzes. 

The way articles are used in some countries is a little different - many English writers in India and Pakistan do not use articles the same way as in the UK or US.

Usage is more difficult.  I use this heading for many things, rather than have many separate headings. If you are not clear on a particular sentence I highlight, just ask and I'll reply or some other people will help!

Thank you very very much.

Thanks for this essay

Articles

• for the well-being of community → for the well-being of the community
• criminals should be locked up behind the bars → criminals should be locked up behind bars
• community service is not a sufficient punishment for the minor offenders → community service is not a sufficient punishment for minor offenders
• addition of minor criminals like pick-picketers, gamblers and  → the addition of minor criminals like pickpockets, gamblers and

Word Choice/Word Form/Usage

• minor offenders may emerge out → minor offenders may emerge
• All this disadvantages → All these disadvantages
• implying the law of community service → implementing community service
• Activities like to clean the streets, to talk to school groups, to plant trees, to collect rubbish and control traffic → Activities like cleaning the streets, talking to school groups, planting trees, collecting rubbish and controlling traffic
• Such activities not only encourage individual development but also cause good to the community → Such activities not only encourage individual development but also do good for the community

Topic Sentence/Shorten/Simplify

This sentence is 29 words long. Let’s see if we can shorten it:

However, in my opinion, addition of minor criminals like pick-picketers, gamblers, being drunk and behaving disorderly in the prison means creating overcrowding and increasing the need of more budget.

Here’s one possible rewrite:

However, in my opinion, sending people to prison for minor offences such as gambling, pick-pocketing, or disorderly behavior leads to overcrowding and more expense.

Hmmm, at 24 words it’s not much shorter, but it’s a little clearer, perhaps. But it’s a topic sentence, so it should be (a) shorter (b) less specific and (c) tell us what is coming in the paragraph. Here’s a topic sentence for your third paragraph:

Community service, on the other hand, can be better for both prisoners and society.

Word Choice/Word Form/Usage

• However, others argue that imprisonment is not only the best solution for petty criminals. → However, others argue that imprisonment is not the only solution for petty criminals.
   
• They cannot tolerate the constant fear of being theft, stolen and abused. → They can not tolerate the constant fear of being robbed or abused.
   
• Criminals, therefore, no matter what crime he or she involves in, should be locked up away from their victims. → No matter what crime they are involved in, criminals should be locked up away from their victims.

Shorten/Simplify

You wrote:

It is also pointed out that such petty criminals may breach the boundary of major crime that once had breached the minor crime.

Here’s one possible rewrite:

Criminals may begin with petty crimes, but move on to more serious crimes.

Overall, the layout is clear, but I'd recommend that you add topic sentences at the start of paragraphs. I think it's a perfectly fine response to the question. 

It is often said that the criminals should be locked up behind the bars. However, others argue that imprisonment is not only the best solution for petty criminals. In my view, community service is beneficial not only for the prisoners but for the well-being of community as well.

Some people argue that community service is not a sufficient punishment for the minor offenders. They say that it is hard for them to live in the same society where criminals are allowed to live with freedom. They can not tolerate the constant fear of being theft, stolen and abused. It is also pointed out that such petty criminals may breach the boundary of major crime that once had breached the minor crime. Criminals, therefore, no matter what crime he or she involves in, should be locked up away from their victims.

However, in my opinion, addition of minor criminals like pick-picketers, gamblers, being drunk and behaving disorderly in the prison means creating overcrowding and increasing the need of more budget. At the same time, such minor offenders may emerge out with negative feelings built up inside the atmosphere of prison and this raises the chances of violence. All this disadvantages of putting them in the prison can be prevented after implying the law of community service. Activities like to clean the streets, to talk to school groups, to plant trees, to collect rubbish and control traffic may make the petty criminals useful to the society and ultimately repay their own local community.

Taking both these above into consideration, I conclude saying that though prisons are suitable punishment for major criminals the community services or works are an effective deterrent to reform minor criminals. Such activities not only encourage individual development but also cause good to the community and nation as a whole.

Thanks for this very useful link to ielts-simon.com about four different kinds of IELTS Task 2 questions.  Dominic Cole's website also has some useful information on about essay types, but he divides them into three types.

I suppose the trick is to answer the question! A lot of students worry about what kind of question it is. They spend a lot of time trying to decide the category -  whether the essay is compare/contrast, problem/solution, discussion, opinion, argument, etc.

It’s good to read the question a few times, but don’t worry too much about trying to fit it into a particular category.  And you certainly shouldn’t try to remember particular phrases or sentences just for certain categories or types of question.  That’s unfortunately what many weaker writers are trying to do -  memorize a handful of sentences and phrases and drop them into am essay regardless of the topic! Your essay layout has to be in response to the essay question, not a particular category.  

So read and re-read the question, and underline it and color it or do whatever it takes to make sure you understand and answer all the parts, but don't worry about fitting it into any particular category or type. If your answer is on-topic and well written, you will get a good mark, even if your layout is unusual.

Here’s a link to all the posts about Task 2 writing on the ielts-simon website.  Well worth checking out. 

Thanks again Tommy - you are obviously very hard-working and you've done your homework!

Don’t worry about how your essay compares with other essays  –  it’s fine, and there are very few perfect essays here!  (Here's the link to your essay above)

Agreement

• someone who commit a crime have → someone who commits a crime has

Tense

someone who commits a crime has to kept → someone who commits a crime has to be kept

Word Choice/Word Form/Usage

• Others think it is better to let some of lawbreakers with a minor crime to do social works → Others think it is better to let some lawbreakers with minor crimes do social work.
   
• this kind of person is hazardous for society and maybe commit another crime. → this kind of person is hazardous for society and may commit another crime.
   
• But they have to work under hard supervision and threat them to revoke their privilege if they make mistakes. → But they have to work under strict supervision with their privileges revoked if they abuse them.
   
• It is essential to let criminals to work → It is essential to let criminals work
   
• We could not risk on people’s safety → We cannot risk people’s safety.
   
• The punishment should be coordinate with the crime→
  The punishment should be related to the crime  OR   
  The punishment should be proportionate with the crime    OR
  The punishment should fit the crime   OR
  The punishment should be in proportion to the crime
   
• It is something inevitable to let a person who convicted of murdering live in society freely. → It is unthinkable/unacceptable/impossible to let a person convicted of murder live freely

Specify

You wrote:

In this essay, I will discuss both of these views and examine the advantages and disadvantages of both ideas.

It’s correct, but it could be used in a million essays. Try to make every sentence related to the topic.  

Here’s one possible rewrite:

In this essay, I will examine the advantages and disadvantages of community service.

Shorten/Simplify

You wrote:

While keeping them in jail imposes society to expend money, we can make a plan to return these costs.

Here’s one possible rewrite:

While keeping them in jail is expensive, we can reduce these costs by….

Clarify

Maybe they did wrong thing in past for these lacks. If they had some skills, they would have different lives.

The second sentence is fine, but I’m not sure what you mean by the first sentence. Can you rewrite it for us?

Thanks for your comments. However, I think in the question type which requires us to "Discuss both view", we should demonstrate both sides with similar amount for each. I knew this information from my previous Ielts teacher as well as one popular Ielts examiner in the UK. Here is the information that I found:

    So I understand that the question which requires us to "discuss both sides" is the second type. I think in Gibert essay, the question only ask "to what extent do you agree or disagree", so I think mention one side if fine.

I'm sorry if my idea is wrong.

Every one who breaks the law should be punished. However the modes in which they are punished vary from one country to another. Imprisonment is the highest penalty given to those who commit quite a big crime, in most of the countries. I would consider that it is an absolutely unjustified act to punish even the petty criminals in the same way.

            First, the criminals who commit major crime are more vulnerable to the society. Imprisonment is the best sort of punishment to them. On the contrary, if petty criminals are sentenced in the similar manner, there is higher probability for them to get deviated from the right path. As the proverb implies ‘An idle mind is a devil’s workshop’, by being just idle in the prison, they may get frustrated and lose their hope in life. Consider when a petty offender has done the crime accidentally/unintentionally; when he gets this sort of punishment, there are quite a lot of chances for him to be misguided by other prisoners. Besides this, this sort of punishment can even make people lazy, as they then to get food and shelter without paying anything .Therefore it is advisable to keep those petty offenders away from other prisoners

 In addition to this, involving them in social activities would cause benefit in various aspects such as the concerned individual, the local people and the government. It is advisable, that the government should provide them some authentication for their work and also some incentives. This will help them not only to get a god job, but will improve their self respect. This will reduce the crime to much greater extent, as unemployment and poverty are the prime factors leading to crime.

      To conclude, I would like to go in favour of involving petty criminals in social works rather than keeping them imprisoned, so as to benefit the entire society.

Some people believe that someone who commit a crime have to kept in jail for several years or maybe for the rest of their life depend  on the crime. However, others think it is better to let some of lawbreakers with a minor crime to do social works. In this essay, I will discuss both of these views and examine the advantages and disadvantages of both ideas.

Everybody knows that the punishment should be coordinate with the crime. It is something inevitable to let a person who convicted of murdering live in society freely. Therefore we have to keep them in jail, as this kind of person is hazardous for society and maybe commit another crime. We could not risk on people’s safety.   It is obvious; there is a difference between who committed a crime deliberately and someone who did it unintentionally. So we cannot put them in one category.

But in the other hand, there are many criminals with minor crimes. We can make use of this kind. While keeping them in jail imposes society to expend money, we can make a plan to return these costs. For example they can produce something or they can do some social works with lower salary as their punishment. But they have to work under hard supervision and threat them to revoke their privilege if they make mistakes.

In conclusion, I believe that it is essential to let criminals to work and even teach them some skills. Maybe they did wrong thing in past for these lacks. If they had some skills, they would have different lives.

This is amazing -  three essays on this topic with different styles but some great ideas, great rewrites, and great comments. Thanks to Nick, Rose2802, Alison and Tommy for the fantastic job.

Instead of separate comments, I'll just write a few here in one post. It's a bit long, sorry!

Here's the layout of Nick's essay:

• Intro: some people say send all criminals to jail, others say alternatives to jail are possible, thesis sentence. Fine!
• Para 2: Criminals are a danger to society. (But I think the topic sentence needs to be stronger and to mention prison).
• Para 3: Rehabilitation is the answer, because crime is still increasing. Also, prison is expensive. Community service is also very good for young offenders (but this point also needs more explanation). You have good ideas in this paragraph -  more ideas and clearer examples than in Paragraph 2
• Conclusion: Sort of gives two sides, and says we need to consider 'merciful alternatives' to prison. I'm happy with the ideas in it, but would like to make it much shorter.

Overall it has some good ideas and it's organized, but the conclusion should be shorter and Paragraph 2 (the first paragraph in the body) could be longer and have a better topic sentence.

Rose 2802 said Nick's essay had many long sentences - the average is 15.6, which is not too bad, although it's better to aim for between 12 and 15. Perhaps removing some of the longer ones in the conclusion will help along with simplifying some ideas.

Use Linking Words

I also agree with her suggestion of using some linking words such as 'therefore,' and 'moreover.' I also recommend the easy ones 'first,' 'second,' 'another point is that,' 'in addition,' or 'a final point is that.' Have a look at some of the linking words she uses herself in her essay:

Anufrancis, like me, was also confused by your topic for Paragraph 2. A better topic sentence here would have helped. She also wasn't happy with the link to the idea of rehabilitation in Paragraph 3.

Here's my suggestion for a topic sentence for Paragraph 2:

Many people are worried that allowing dangerous criminals to do community service will be a threat. OR

Many people think that community service is too lenient a punishment for major crimes. 

(These are obviously two different ideas - it depends on the rest of your paragraph.) Perhaps a sentence like this might work as a topic sentence for Paragraph 3:

Community service can help to rehabilitate prisoners. particularly for minor crimes or young offenders, and this will lower the rate of re-offending.

Rose2802 then wrote her essay on the topic. I really like it. It's much simpler than Nick's and easier to read - maybe because of those linking words, even though the average sentence length is longer, at 16 words. Hmmmm!  

Rose2802's essay has a different layout to Nick's, with two body paragraphs both in favour of alternatives to prison. Tommy wondered why you didn't deal with both sides. Many IELTS candidates worry about this - I am always happy to see good writing, and less worried about trying to get the perfect format. 

Discuss Both Sides?

I know the question asks:

Some people think lawbreakers should be sent to prison. Others, however, think that there are better alternatives (for example, being made to do work which benefits the local community) for these whose crime are minor.
Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

I am not sure than many IELTS questions actually say "Discuss both these views." Even if your question does say to discuss both views, you can do it by saying that the other side is wrong, if you know what I mean. Have a look at Gilbert's essay for an example.

There's a lot in Rose2802's third paragraph - you have suggested dealing with the causes of poverty, so this might be going off-topic a little, even though I agree with you completely. But overall I really like the style and simplicity. Tommy Bui suggests that maybe you should have mentioned the word from the question ('community service') in the intro, and he's right: it will help you to keep absolutely on topic. See my suggested topic sentences above. 

As Tommy points out, there are some grammar errors, but they don't impede communication.

Then Alison wrote her 5-paragraph essay which is similar in layout to Nick's - it looks at both sides. It's longer and has lots of examples. This is what is meant in the official IELTS descriptors for Task 2 Writing under Task Response for fully supported and developed. 

Alison (or her spell-checker) made one tiny mistake which I really like: in Paragraph 4 she suggests letting 'pretty' criminals out to do community service. It's a nice idea, and I definitely agree with keeping the ugly ones in prison! (OK, I know it's just a typo for 'petty'!)

Questions in an essay?

Rose then asked if it's OK to use questions. Yes, I think it's absolutely fine. Don't worry about doing it once or maybe even twice in an essay, but don't overdo it. It can be very effective.

Some Good Rewrites 

Nick wrote:

People show sufficient evidences that indicate a high rate of re-commitment among ex-convict which is the sources of the crime problems whether is major or minor.

Rose suggested this as one possible rewrite (I’ve edited itslightly):

Take ex-convicts for example:  it is evident that a high rate of re-offending among ex-convicts  is a major sources of crimes.

Here's another sentence Nick wrote:

In my view, I believe that both sides have their own purposes, but people need to respect the common good of the public.

Rose2802 suggested

In conclusion, both sides have their own reasons for their choice  but I believe that people need to respect the  benefits to the public.

Here’s a suggestion from Anufrancis for the same sentence:

In my view, I believe that both sides have their own pros and cons, but people need to implement adequate steps for the good of the public.

Whew!

Again, thanks to you all and imagine what would happen if you were all in the same face-to-face class! Great work!  I'm going to pin this essay to the top of the forum for a few days to show what working together means!