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(0 votes) Some people believe that educating children altogether will benefit them. Others think intelligent children should be taught separately and given special courses. Discuss those two views.
Choosing suitable methods to educate children seems to be a challenge task for many countries. While there are obvious benefits of mixing all children together in one class, there are also good reasons why the intelligent ones should receive special methods of teaching.
The option to apply the same teaching methods for all children is attractive for several reasons. First, it brings opportunities for children to learn from each other. For example, normal children can acquire knowledge from the smarter ones while intelligent children can develop their teaching skills and enhance memories. Furthermore, separating children into different classes based on their intelligence might lead to discrimination. Junior children will be less likely to receive assistants from the senior ones and might believe that they are being treated unequally.
On the other hand, it is also understandable that allocating smart children into specialized classes can bring several positive outcomes to the societies. Firstly, it helps schools to ensure that smart children can receive suitable learning environment which can nurture their talents. For instance, many educational institutions organize special classes for those who have high performance in mathematics, physics or chemistry. Those more intensive classes are opened with the purpose of training talents for international prizes. In addition, separating smart children can help schools to develop suitable study courses. More specifically, basic classes should be used to educate children with intermediate skills whereas the intelligent ones can attend more advanced classes to maximize their potential.
In conclusion, there are convincing arguments for mixing all students into one class, but providing advanced courses for smarter children can help to develop the societies.
4:48 pm
Hi Tommy - thanks again for all your work with Emkoxinh!
Intro
nice and clear with two sides. It might be stronger with a thesis sentence which made it even clearer what you were going to do in your essay
Word Choice/Usage
- Choosing suitable methods to educate children seems to be a challenge task for many countries.→ challenge OR a challenging task
- Junior children will be less likely to receive assistants → assistance
Paragraph 2
You have a simple topic sentence here. Nice use of modals (‘might lead,’ ‘might believe’) at the end of the para.
Paragraph 3
Your topic sentence here is a bit too long and wordy:
On the other hand, it is also understandable that allocating smart children into specialized classes can bring several positive outcomes to the societies. (23 words)
This possible rewrite is shorter AND outlines some of the ideas of the paragraph
On the other hand, having special classes for smarter children can be good for the children and for the country. (20 words)
Ideas
The last idea in paragraph three is a bit repetitive - the last two sentences don’t really say anything new. Have you thought of any further reasons for separating students based on ability since you wrote this essay?
Pronoun reference
More specifically, basic classes should be used to educate children with intermediate skills whereas the intelligent ones can attend more advanced classes to maximize their potential.
The word ‘ones’ here should mean classes but after reading the sentence we see you mean students. The sentence could be rewritten as
More specifically, basic classes should be used to educate children with intermediate skills whereas advanced classes would help more able students to maximize their potential.
Overall, another carefully-written essay. Make sure you have enough ideas before starting off. You don't have any disadvantages for having advanced and weaker students together. Think about using thesis sentences in the intro. The conclusion is a bit vague - you could add a little more information in the body (maybe discuss how it is good for countries) and summarize it here in more length.
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