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Who should take care of our old people?
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November 10, 2011
8:36 pm
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tehran iran
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November 6, 2011
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In Iranian culture, most of families have believed that taking care of old family members is their duty since many years ago; However, in modern life this tradition has been changed and there are many families that have trouble with looking after their old people. This essay will look at some of arguments for and against taking care of our old people by ourselves.

People have several arguments for looking after their old members of family. They say that in their childhood, when these old people were young, they could not live without help of them and now it is time to gratitude. They mean when they were children their parents never left them alone. It is also claimed that, attendance of old family members can solve some problems. As an example, if the mother goes to work, the grandmother can look after the children. In other word these families live happily with their children.

But in modern urban life, people have some troubles looking after their old ones. One of them is marriage. Because when people get married, their spouses don’t feel as emotional as them to their parents and they say  ”why don’t you pick up a good nursing home for your parents?”. Another point is that when people get older, their behavior changes. It means they will have some bad specifications such as : speaking to their selves loudly all day long, making excuses on purpose, taking their time to do things, calling on everybody for unimportant things and etc. Also in urban life, if one person is added to family, cost of living will go up while the salary is constant and it leads to harder conditions of living for all family members. Otherwise it is hard for these people to look after their old people.

IN conclusion, taking care of old members of family is admired work; However it has some troubles. I think we should bear these problems because of thanksgiving. This will increase sense of love between family members.

November 13, 2011
8:14 pm
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writefix
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Hi Damoon and welcome back!

 

Some small points:

  • most of families ==> most families
  • This essay will look at some of arguments ==> This essay will look at some of the arguments for and against…  OR
  • This essay will look at some of arguments ==> This essay will look at some arguments for and against…
  • now it is time to gratitude ==> now it is time for the children to show their gratitude

 Don't have a comma after 'that'

  • It is also claimed that, attendance ==> it is also claimed that

Usage

when people get married, their spouses don’t feel as emotional as them to their parents

  • when people get married, they don’t feel as emotionally attached as their spouses towards their mother or father-in-law (new parents).
  • when people get married, they don’t feel emotionally attached to their in-laws

Vocab

 they will have some bad specifications

  • they will have some difficult characteristics/ frustrating aspects of their personality/ they may become hard to deal with /

 

Otherwise it is hard for these people to look after their old people.

Overall, it can be quite hard for people to look after their elderly parents

 

Be careful how you join sentences with 'however':

 …taking care of old members of family is admired work; However it has some troubles.

Just use a full stop, or a semicolon:

  •  …taking care of old members of family is admired work.  However, it has some troubles.
  •  …taking care of old members of family is admired work; however, it has some troubles..

Finally, I would rewrite the entire sentence as:

Taking care of elderly family members is an admirable thing to do. However, it is not always easy.

Thanks for the essay! 

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